God In The Shit December 21, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas.Tags: Christmas, Difficulties, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Life Is A Mess, New Life, Possibility, Problems, Queer, Religion, Solstice, Spiriuality, The Holidays
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Matthew 1: 18-24
Joseph, an upright man, a good religious man, embarrassed, frightened, confused and wanting a divorce. Mary a dedicated woman of faith, yet unmarried and pregnant. No room for them to stay and so a cave where animals are kept, shitty and smelly, becomes the place of his birth. . . . Who would ever think that nothing less than God would emerge from this mess?
God chooses to come to us in the mess of life! And our lives at times can certainly be quite messy. There are illnesses, quarrels, wars, misunderstandings, depression, addictions and any number of maladies that can befall us. It is precisely in this mess that God chooses to reveal God’s self. It is precisely this mess which can become the birthing place of wonderful things! When life’s messiness comes upon us, we need not fear, but open ourselves to it as a place where wonderful insights can emerge and otherwise undreamt paths can be revealed!
I Want To Get Pregnant! December 19, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas, Believe, Positive Thinking.Tags: Advent, Belief, Believing, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Positive Thinking, Religion, Spirituality, The Secret, Watching Thoughts
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Luke 1: 5-25
You have given sterility its pregnancy! We are, once again, beckoned to believe in the impossible. We have in our readings two stories of women who were sterile, but become pregnant. It’s interesting to note that these stories are fairly common in the Scriptures and always the child to be born is destined to make a great difference for the good of the people. Great things happen from seemingly impossible situations! Can you believe it?? I have difficulty believing it, like Zechariah, and so I remain unable to speak, paralyzed in my journey. We all experience “sterility” in our lives, in one way or another. What is sterile in your life these days? What’s sterile in the life of our world? Can I believe that this sterility can be overcome and new life can emerge? It’s just a matter of believing! AND taking action. What’s some small thing that I can do today to give pregnancy to a part of my life, or that of our world, that is lifeless and sterile? If I am honest, most of the time I am like Zechariah who basically looks at the angel and says “yeah, . . . Right! You have GOT to be kidding!” Most of the time I am like Zechariah and don’t believe that incredible things can happen in my life and the life of the world. And in my lack of belief, I remain like Zechariah, lifeless, speechless and a bit listless and lethargic. We are knocked over the head again today by God who says, “Wake up! Believe it!” We are again beckoned to walk through our days believing that life CAN be different, that the world CAN be different! The past couple of weeks I have felt listless. This morning when I read these readings and pondered them, I felt deep within me “Yeah right, . . . You have GOT to be kidding!” And then I started to change my thinking and believe that maybe, just maybe the impossible can happen. I’m not sure if it will. But you know what? . . . I’m not listless anymore. A little pregnancy has been given to my listless sterility.
Holiday Blues? Get Outside Yourself. December 16, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Advent/Christmas.Tags: 12 Steps, Alcoholics Anonymous, Chrimstas, Depression, Gay, Gay Christian, Gayy Catholic, Holiday Blues, Religion, Self Help, Spirituality, The Holidays
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For those of you who might feel a little down lately, know you’re not alone. Many people get down this time of year with all the hype, romance, and hustle that this season can be. As I wrote yesterday, I too have realized that I’ve been dealing with a lot of negative thinking and need to change my thoughts.
12 Step programs have a bit of wisdom to offer those of us who feel a bit down, who wallow in self pity, or who deal with a lot of negative thinking. Get out of yourself! Many times in 12 step meetings you will hear this bit of advise given. If you’re feeling down, wallowing in self pity or in stinking thinking – go help someone. Go help another addict, another person who is struggling in some way. Get out of yourself and just go help someone. This will make you feel better.
I did just that yesterday when I visited a woman in a nursing home, who I know is lonely. When I walked in the room her face literally lit up like a Christmas tree and she hugged me tightly. She was so happy that I had come to visit, if even for a little while. I don’t know who benfitted more though. All I know is that I felt a lot better having seen her.
Feeling some holiday blues? The prescription: Get out of yourself. Take it. You’ll feel better.
Believing Is Seeing December 15, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas, Believe, Positive Thinking.Tags: Believing, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Positive Thinking, Religion, Spirituality, The Holidays
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Most of us think it’s the other way around, . . . don’t we? When I experience it, when I see it, when you show me, then I’ll believe it. Isn’t this the spoken or inward response that we have to something that even slightly seems out of the ordinary?
Recently I was watching a Christmas movie, I can’t remember what it was called, or even the plot. But what I do remember is this line in the movie: “Seeing isn’t believing. Believing is seeing!”
Probably due to years of my father saying things like I would never amount to anything, that I was good for nothing and could do nothing right, I still, at times, grapple with those messages in my head. This weekend was one such weekend. No matter how many times I have been told that I do good work, this weekend I was simply not feeling it, seeing it, or hearing it. I sat there feeling like a failure. Gratefully I rather quickly became aware of these negative voices in my head. And then I thought of the line from that movie. And immediately, in the middle of performing a task for my job, I began to think about all the successes that I’ve had in my job, all the good things that have been done and almost immediately my mood began to shift to the positive. And, not only that, I began to see and feel differently about what I was experiencing in my job performance.
Believing IS seeing. As we believe, so shall we see and experience life. I also realized that I am in the midst of one hellava “stinkin thinking” streek. And as I have moved inward, enveloped by these negative thoughts, I project that energy outward – and it, indeed becomes my reality. I only pray for the grace to continue to become aware of such negative thinking and, by changing what I believe, what I think, that I will see myself and others differently.
Testify to the Light! December 14, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas.Tags: Advent, Believing, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Gifts, GLBT, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Religion, Spirituality, The Holidays
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It’s SO easy to dwell on what is wrong with our lives, our partner, our job, the church, this or that person and certainly what’s wrong with the world! Why does that seem to come so naturally, yet thinking positively does not.? It’s like we have to train our minds to work and think in different ways. When we do so, then we will come to see life in a new way.
I often ask myself this question: Do I want to be a person that sees and talks about what is good in this world, or what is wrong with it? Whenever I am around someone who consistently has a negative edge to their conversation, I quickly receive an answer to what kind of person I want to be! It’s a drag being around a consistently negative person. Yet I have to admit that I am sometimes negative in what I say and how I perceive myself, others and the world – and I don’t even realize it!
John the Baptist was called to “testify to the light.” I want to be a person that testifies to the light, to what is good. Ironically enough, as the darkness descends, this season is about testifying to what is good in human nature and the world. In the midst of all of our problems, in this season we CONSCIOUSLY take an opportunity to look at what is good, true and beautiful in ourselves and others and celebrate that! The key is in CONSCIOUSLY deciding to look at the good in another.
Today perhaps it’s good to ask ourselves this: Am I person who testify’s to the Light?
I’m Coming To See You December 13, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas.Tags: Advent, Christmas, Depression, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Martin the Cobbler, New Life, Queer, Religion, Sadness, Spirituality, The Holidays
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The animated Christmas movie “Martin the Cobbler” (originally a story by Leo Tolstoy) tells the story of Martin, a shoe repairman. Martin’s workshop and living space is in a basement with one window that looks out onto the street where he sees people passing by. Life has left Martin a sad, withdrawn man. His wife died at an early age, leaving him a son to raise. When the son was of age to begin helping him, he took ill and also died. Life had been difficult for Martin and he basically gives up on any belief in a good God.
One night, while reading he hears someone call his name and the voice says: “Martin look out into the street tomorrow for I will come to visit you.” The next day, Martin remembers the voice and begins to look out the window, expecting something to happen. As the day wore on, nothing much happened. But he did see a man he knew who’s shoes were worn and who was cold and hungry. Because the man was blocking the view out his window he invited him in. Noticing he was hungry, Martin gave him something to eat and noticing he was cold, he gave him an extra coat he had. The day passed and nothing extraordinary happened. At the end of the day, he noticed his Bible and he took it out, opened it and noticed the passage where it said “I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, thirsty and you gave me something to eat.” He then realized that God had indeed visited him and from then on he kept looking out the window noticing people and his sad, withdrawn life began to blossom again!
God often comes and visits us, but we don’t recognize God. Jesus in the Gospel today says that the people didn’t recognize the prophet Elijah nor do they recognize him. As a matter of fact, people oftentimes get rid of prophets! God visits us every day. Prophets are sent to us everyday. Do we see them? Perhaps we, like Martin, should look out the window of our sadness or pain today and see the One who comes to visit us in many disguises that we might be lead to newness of life!
What Do You Want For Christmas? December 12, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Advent/Christmas, Happiness.Tags: 12 Steps, Advent, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Queer, Religion, Spirituality, The Holidays
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“I, the Lord your God, teach you what is for your good, and lead you on the way you should go. If you would harken to my commandments, your prosperity would be like a river.” (See Isaiah 48: 17-19)
Certainly in Isaiah’s time the common belief was that if you were following God’s ways, you would be blessed. If you were ill, or poor, that meant you were a sinner. Jesus of course turned this belief upside down with such teachings as “blessed are the poor, blessed are those who mourn,” etc. For Jesus happiness had little if anything to do with material or physical goods – and herein lay the discovery of true joy! When we realize that happiness doesn’t come from any person, place or thing, but from within, then we are the happiest of people. In this sense, less might indeed be more!
It’s ironic to reflect on this when culturally and within many, if not most of our homes, there are growing expectations of this or that “gift.” Perhaps it might be good for us to reflect on what might truly give someone “happiness.” Is it this or that gift, this or that thing? Or is it an experience, presence, self giving that might engender a sense of deeper joy.
Maggot! December 11, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Advent/Christmas, Change, Personal Growth.Tags: Advent, Change, Christmas, Conversion, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Personal Growth, Religion, Spirituality, The Holidays
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“Fear not, O worm Jacob, O maggot Israel;
I will help you, says the Lord”
(See Isaiah 41: 13-20)
For some reason those words, “worm” and “maggot” never struck me before, but they kinda slapped me in the face today! Can you imagine calling someone a worm or a maggot? Pretty strong language I’d say!
But did you ever feel like a worm or a maggot? Did you ever say or do something that you deeply regretted? Did you ever feel like you’ve gotten yourself into a situation or a way of being where you felt there was no way out? If you’ve ever been in such a situation, you know what it feels like to feel like a worm or a maggot. But there’s good news. There IS a way out! There IS the possibility of change!
The other day I was flipping through channels and happened upon the movie “Bruce Almighty.” It started and finished with “God” washing a floor, dressed in a janitor‘s uniform. At the end of the movie, after Bruce has made a mess of things being “God” for a week, God invites Bruce to join him in washing the floor. When they’re finished God admires the clean floor and says: “No matter how filthy something gets, you can always get a little water and wash it right up!”
No matter how bad it may seem, no matter the pain we may have caused, no matter what we have done or how we have lived, . . . we can change and live in new, life giving ways. That’s good news. We just have to make a step in the right direction.
Make It Smooth December 9, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas, Change, Love, Self Giving.Tags: Advent, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Holidays, Love, Relationships, Self Giving, Self Improvement, Spirituality
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“Make straight in the wasteland a highway for our God! Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill will be made low. The rugged land shall be made a plain, the rough country, a broad valley.” (See Isaiah 40: 1-11)
We’re so used to good roads in the United States that the concept of making a straight highway and leveling mountains is lost on us. When I lived in Central America for a summer I came to appreciate the roads and highway system we have here unlike I ever have before.
This concept of making a highway for God comes up again and again during Advent. If you’ve had the opportunity to observe a highway being built through hills and mountains, suddenly the awesome task of making a straight road comes into perspective!
This makes me think about the obstacles and “rough places” that are still within me, or the obstacles that I either place in another’s way, or don’t help remove. Think of your partner at home, or another family member or friend. Think of the poor, the less fortunate. How could I be of help in removing some of the obstacles that people have in their lives and making life even a little bit easier for them? And, conversely, what rough places and obstacles are still within me that hinder me from living life just a little more fully?
Making A Difference December 8, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas, Encouragement, Self Giving.Tags: Advent, Charity, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Giving, GLBT, Religion, Self Giving, Spirituality, The Holidays
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Advent is about making known the presence of God to others. Its about incarnating the presence of God. It’s about God with skin. Experiencing the presence of God through our prayer is good indeed, but sometimes we need God with skin. We need the touch and comfort of another. And we are called to be that for others.
“Strengthen the hands that are feeble,
Make firm the knees that are weak,
Say to those whose hearts are frightened:
Be strong, fear not!”
(See Isaiah 35: 1-10)
We are, each of us, a Word of God spoken in time with a mission, a purpose. How can you make a difference in someone’s life today?
