THE MOST AWESOME ORGASM!

NOTE: I AM FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO POST EVERYDAY, LET ALONE A FEW TIMES A WEEK. FOR THOSE WHO READ THIS BLOG, I WILL TRY TO POST EVERY SUNDAY, THEN PERHAPS SOME DAY OR DAYS DURING THE WEEK, BUT AT THE MINIMUM I WILL TRY TO POST EVERY SUNDAY. Enjoy the journey!

We all chase after it, in one way or another. We somehow expect that in this life we will find total fulfillment and happiness whether it be through our spouse/partner, that “perfect someone,” through our work, our house, our car, friends, our children, our church, synagogue, temple or mosque, our guru – our favorite self help writer, our minister, priest and the like. Somehow all of us expect perfect happiness on this side of life, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Think about it. We place high expectations on our boyfriend/girlfriend, our spouse, friends, spiritual path, church and even ourselves to bring us happiness and fulfillment. Somehow we expect that one day we will arrive, we will find perfect serenity, perfect consummation, perfect happiness – the perfect orgasm through one of these means.

We all feel a fundamental sense of disconnection – from our Source and from one another.. And this very incompletion makes us continually reach beyond ourselves to find completion, be it in a person, place, thing or philosophy/spirituality. And this is good. But the sooner we realize that none of this will EVER make us FULLY complete, connected, happy, etc – the more peaceful we will ultimately be. Our expectations of one another, our spouses, of possessions and even of our spiritual path become realistic.

Ronald Rolheiser, in his book The Holy Longing: The Search for A Christian Spirituality, has a great chapter on sexuality – this Divine energy which drives us to seek completion and fulfillment outside of ourselves because we all feel a sense of incompletion. Yet, he says, the truth is, we all live with the “frustration of a lifelong, unfinished symphony” (c.f. p.205ff). On this side of life we will never find the perfect orgasm, the perfect person, or constantly live in a state of total fulfillment. The good news is, the sooner we accept this, the sooner we will stop expecting people or things to bring us the total fulfillment that only Divine fulfillment can. And, consequently, the happier we will be. Much pain and sadness in life comes from disappointment born of dashed expectations that this person or thing will completely fulfill us.

So face it, we’re never going to have the perfect orgasm. Ironically, when we realize this, the more connected and fulfilled we will feel.

STOP THINKING SO MUCH!!

The silence of no thought

It speaks with increasing volume
Enticing me . . .

“Wanna figure it out?”
“No thought”
“Wanna change?”
“No thought”
“Wanna create?”
“No thought”
“Wanna love?”
“No thought”
“Wanna live well?”
“No thought”
“Wanna die well?”
“No thought”

In this silence, the song rises in my heart again
And I am made new.

SEDUCED

The other day I was made aware of a movie called “Into Great Silence.” It is a documentary film directed by Phillip Groning which portrays the lives of the Carthusian Monks of the Grande Charteuse Monastery high in the French Alps. It’s known to be one of the most austere monasteries. I imagine that many people might be bored out of their minds by this movie, as it definitely takes one “into great silence,” as its title suggests. The movie is around two and a half hours long and most of it is silence. It simply shows the monks in their day to day lives – without offering commentary or explanation. These monks do not talk, except when they are in common prayer and once a week after a meal on Sundays. So it’s quiet! Disturbingly so! Yet, . . . Refreshingly so. Talk about counter-cultural!

After watching this movie I wondered how much we may all be seduced away from the silence by the incessant, and sometimes, unnoticeable noise all around us. I wonder if all the noise that surrounds us, or that we choose to be surrounded by – lulls us into a dull sense of living, and ultimately – in our society – a crisis of meaning.

When I enter into the silence, which is initially disturbing, I am lead to a greater sense of myself, a more peaceful place and, in the process, I become a more compassionate presence in the world. It is nothing short of hard work to stay with silence, but I am becoming more and more conscious of the tremendous difference it makes in my life and work. I feel as if I am slowly being seduced by it. In entering the silence I give up control to a Higher Power, which is initially disturbing. But now I am intrigued by it, curious and interested to see what happens. And something is happening. I don’t quite know what it is, but I know it’s good.

IN THE ARMS OF YOUR SILENT EMBRACE

Today I was meditating, and, as often is the case, my mind gets going and I want to get up and start getting something done that I’m thinking about. Sometimes it is “work” just to sit there. Funny huh? “Work” just to sit there?

The White Robed Monks call this “Just Sitting,” a practice adopted from Zen, where one simply sits 15 minutes a day, concentrating on the breath and clearing the mind of all thought. When we do this our mind, our ego revolts. That little voice in our heads just doesn’t want to leave us alone.

What struck me this morning again is that when I want to heed that voice within, when I want to get up and start moving and stop this sitting – I am not trusting! In essence, when I break the meditation and start running, I am saying that I trust more in myself than I do in Divine Power. My experience, however, says that when I stay with this “work,” when I simply sit and make an empty space in my mind, I connect directly with Source Energy, God, the Spirit. Suddenly my work is given energy and much more is accomplished – and somehow – directly as a result of thinking no-thing, my thoughts are clarified and my life is given meaning and direction. It’s like I have suddenly been plugged in!

Can I trust enough to stay with the silent embrace and make a space in my life to connect with Source? Try it. And see what happens!

“Contemplation Is the Highest Form of Activity”

I was recently watching a program on PBS called “Excuses Be Gone” featuring Wayne Dyer. In it, he quotes Aristotle as saying:

“Contemplation is the highest form of activity.”

I so resonate with that statement! I am wired differently from what society, corporations and even churches applaud and hold up as good. “Idleness is the devil’s workshop” we were often told as kids. Certainly that was the message in the church and family in which I was raised. For me, the opposite is true.

The more “activity” I am involved in – the less I do – and the quality of anything that I do, and even the person I am, suffers greatly! It is in the silence of nothingness, in time, seemingly wasted – where great things are born within me. When I don’t take time to be, read, write, pray, listen to music – my life and work suffer. When I have, or take this time – despite great pressure not to do so – then my work finds life and creativity and I am a decent person to be around.

I find this is not very much appreciated either in society or the church. Produce! Produce! Produce! This is the message that most of us receive. It’s funny. I don’t find society, churches or countries any the better for all the incessant activity! Perhaps we would be wise to slow down, take stock. I recently heard these very words in a church, coming from a man who’s an unredeemed, angry workaholic whose toxic energy is oppressive to his staff and his church. He does a tremendous amount of work; but I don’t know of anyone (who really knows him) who looks up to him or actually wants to spend time with him. How sad. But I believe, like all addicts, he’s basically a good person at heart. Perhaps he just needs to slow down and take stock.

Hibernate A Little!

After a long stretch of days taken in work and interuptions, I finally had a day yesterday to myself.  It was a day spent in catching up on laundry, cleaning the house, taking down Christmas decorations and putting the house in order.  I also took the afternoon to do some reading and the evening to make some phone calls and connect with some people I haven’t talked to in a while.

I suddenly felt human again!

This sacred space of “no-thing” held within it an energy that renewed my life force, which of late has been greatly drained.  Without such spaces in life, I am less present to people emotionally, get less done in more time and find myself “restless, irritable and discontent” (RID as they say in 12 Step Programs).

I am once again reminded of not only the value of, but the necessity of taking such times if we are to live and love well.

Why not hibernate a little this winter?

You Wanna Play?

One important aspect of living a spiritual path that I often overlook is play.  We have a tendency to get so serious about our spiritual lives, or life in general.  Work, running here and there, getting things done, taking care of our kids, being responsible etc.  Very little time is given to play.  And usually we don’t think much about this lack of play time as adults.  But, imagine if we never gave our children time to play.  Suddenly the importance of play in life is put into perspective.

We know that in children play is a stress reliever and an energy release.  We know that it helps in the development of free imagination.  It relaxes the mind and the body.  We know that play time usually means happy time.  Imagine what life would be for children if they were never allowed to play, or had very little time for it.  They’d probably crack.  Why is it then that we so easily discount play as adults?

Play has the same restorative effect on us as it does on children.  It gives us a psychic break, allows the mind and spirit to breath and in this breathing, imagination and creativity are given birth.  Far from being a waste of time, play, like prayer, is essential in re-energizing us for life’s work.

Spend some time playing each week!

Call Me Mary!

“Mary has chosen the better portion and she shall not be deprived of it.”

See Luke 10: 38-42

In a world that canonizes the “Martha’s” of the world, those who go, go, go and work, work, work, I am so grateful for this story – because I’m definitely a “Mary.” The society in which we live canonizes work. The more we can produce, the better. The more we can get out of an employee for the least amount of pay, the better.

There are Mary’s and there are Martha’s in the world. I have some friends who are Martha’s. They are the movers and shakers, the ones who get things done. Not that I don’t get anything done, but I envy the energy that I see in these people and have always felt a bit of guilt because I don’t seem to have that same energy. I am however passionate, a dreamer, one who, I’ve been told, has a way of inspiring and moving people. It is only when I am rooted in my inner “Mary” that this passion thrives. When I run all over like Martha, with many worries and concerns, the passion within me freezes, gets paralyzed.

I am so grateful for the Martha’s in my life. And I think the Martha’s in my life are grateful for the Mary in me. A balance between the two is probably optimum in living life well.

And, as an aside, what a great thing for Jesus to get all those men pissed off by allowing Mary, A WOMAN, to sit in the company of men and listen to the teacher! This is the real clincher of the story. Women were indeed deprived of learning and were not to be in the company of men. We only need watch the movie “Yentl” to get a sense of what that was like. Jesus, here, as in many places, takes the assumed religious/cultural understanding and turns in upside down! You go boy!

 

Waste Any Time Lately?

Yesterday I spoke of the benefit of religious/spiritual experience and the gratitude I hold in my heart for this gift.  Today I am encouraged to keep at it, to keep doing those things that I need to do to stay centered.

“Whoever puts their hand to the plow and keeps looking back (i.e, keeps getting distracted, or in the mind) is unfit for the reign of God (i.e.,  cannot experience the power of God).” See Luke 9: 57-62

The importance of sticking with my practice, that which keeps me centered, has become obvious to me over the past couple of weeks when I’ve been without electricity and very busy with work.  Actually, the past couple of months I’ve been without a “Sabbath” day, a time of rest, reading, reflection, prayer.  Life has been filled with responding to various needs, people and work situations, which have placed my normal weekly Sabbath on the back burner.  As a result, I have not felt as centered and have begun to rely on my own power instead of that which can carry me through my days.

This experience again reminds me of the importance of building into our lives some “Sabbath” time.  Far from being a waste of time, it can produce within us an energy that can make us much more productive than if we kept running here and there.  I know for myself, without some Sabbath time that keeps me centered in my spiritual practice, I don’t produce good work.  When I take this waste of time, my work is given passion, energy and comes alive.

If, like me, your spiritual practice has been placed on the back burner due to busyness, demands of partners, children, work or the like, perhaps it’s time to “put your hand to the plow” as it were and take even a little “Sabbath” time.  In so doing, we will discover a Power within that can do much more in us than we could by ourselves.

Like the Spring of a Watch: Balance

Some years ago while on a 30 day retreat, the man who directed me in that retreat asked me to do some painting; just random painting, whatever came to me.  One of the works that I produced was a simple spiral in dark blue.  When I showed him the work, he asked if the movement of the spiral was outward or inward.  I said, at the time, that is was outward.

Yesterday, while talking with a friend of mine who is a monk, I spoke of this same circle and something different struck me.  I told him that the movement of the spiral was both inward and outward; and that the outward movement was dependent on the inward movement.  Any outward work, music, writing, public speaking, socializing and loving that I do is based in and dependent on the inward movement.  In other words, the heart of all that I do is based on the contemplative movement inward.  That’s why I resonate with the archetype of monk in the world.  The spiral then has become an inward and outward dynamic, like the spring of an old watch, that keeps me moving forward.  It is the balanced energy of the spring moving inward and outward that keeps the watch running.   If there is too much inward movement, the spring is in danger of getting too tightly wound, collapsing in on itself and stunting further growth and dynamism.  If the spring is too outwardly directed, energy is dispersed aimlessly outward and the spring is in danger of getting sprung, becoming useless.

The essence of who I am is defined in the inward movement.  The outward movement then becomes a manifestation of the centered point within.  Without it, I am lifeless and lack forward movement!  Is your spring well balanced?