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Change – A Door (We Want to Aviod) April 27, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Change.
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Acts 6: 8-15

“We’ve heard that Jesus will destroy this place and change the customs which Moses handed on to us.”

These people felt threatened! They didn’t want the system to change. When we feel threatened, when life begins to shift for whatever reason we will go to any length to keep things the way they are. The folks in Jesus’ day resorted to murder – Jesus’ murder and that of many of his followers. We have a tendency to want to silence the prophets even in our own day.

We don’t like change. But we have a choice. In some situations, we don’t have to change. Someone may be forcing a change on us against our will that is unhealthy. In such a situation we have the perfect right to refuse to change. However, many situations of change might be good for us and those we love – but we go kicking and screaming! In such situations, can I see change as an opportunity instead of a dark, negative place?

A few years ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I loved him very much and I went kicking and screaming into this breakup. I didn’t want it. However, as my Momma used to say: “hindsight is 20/20!” Looking back, that break up was needed. That very difficult change in my life threw me into a tailspin – yet opened doors and places within me that were closed while I was with him. Something seemingly negative became the doorway to new life.

Are you in the midst of a change in your life? Can we see the silver lining in the cloud and the positive things that just might unfold as a result of it?

What A Jerk! March 16, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Prophecy, Relationships, Religion, Risk.
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“No prophet gains acceptance in his native place.” (See Luke 4: 24)

Ain’t it true?

I know of a minister who voluntarily left a large church at which he served as Pastor for a number of years. He no longer could agree with the teachings of his church, especially regarding women, gay people, divorce and re-marriage and, in his case, mandatory celibacy as a requirement for ministry. He no longer could agree with official teaching on who was acceptable at the table and who was not, who was acceptable as a minister and who was not, who could get married and who could not, who could adopt and who could not. He left, and hearing the call of a number of people to continue his ministry, he started his own church. It is a small, fledgling church in a humble chapel, but one can calmly feel the presence of Spirit in that gathering of people. Unfortunately, this very minister, whose compassion and genuine interest in people is palatable, and whose desire is to someday be a good husband and father – in addition to being a minister – is being called a “sinner” and people are being warned of his “grave error.”

Prophets are indeed not accepted in their own place. I pray for this man and admire his courage in the face of religious officials who now shun him.

OK, let’s bring it home. It’s easy for me to admire someone who stands in agreement with my opinions. But let’s take someone in my life who has had the courage to lovingly, but firmly, challenge me to get back on the path and deal with an issue in my life. My first reaction usually isn’t that good. Those of you who have a partner (friend or other family member) know that sometimes your partner can challenge you – hopefully in love. And oftentimes our first reaction isn’t so loving in return. BUT, if we sit back and take the time to reflect on what they are saying – we just might find that instead of being rude, insensitive, arrogant jerks – they may have been speaking the truth out of love and concern. And maybe if I heed their call and make some changes, I just might be a happier, more fulfilled person.

Who are the prophets in your life? Instead of demonizing them, can I step back and hear the truth that they are speaking to me in love?

You Want to Live? March 4, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Addiction, Change, Happiness, Lent.
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Jonah 3: 1-10

If someone told you that if you didn’t stop doing something you would soon be dead, would you stop doing that thing which is destroying you? I think most of us, if given the chance would indeed stop and choose to live! Jonah called out to the people, telling them that if they didn’t change they would soon be dead; and the people quickly turned from their death dealing ways and chose life.

Most of the time, we don’t have a Jonah though. We don’t have someone telling us to stop some negative pattern of behavior so that we might experience the best Life has to offer. Or if we do, we take their call to us as a personal affront, instead of seeing it as a gesture of love and concern for our well being. Most of the time we go about our negative habits or patterns of thinking or behavior totally denying how they are affecting us and those around us.

Don’t you want to really live? Don’t you want to get out there and drink life in?

When we’re caught in some bad habit, some negative pattern it literally sucks the life out of us, doesn’t it? Think about some negative thinking you might have, some negative behavior, some ingrained bad habit. Doesn’t it sap the life out of you, not to mention those around you?

I believe that God wants us to live, wants us to drink life in and get rid of those things that hold us from doing just that. Lent then really isn’t about gloom and doom. It’s about rising from the graves that we’ve built for ourselves. It’s about naming the lie that this or that behavior is going to make me feel better; when in reality it’s sucking the life out of me! It’s about letting go of that which has kept us mired in winter’s lifelessness. It’s about taking some small step away from something which is killing us or those around us and stepping into a new springtime of living!

Naked and in the Groove March 2, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Addiction, Change, Lent, Personal Growth.
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I recently heard a talk in which the speaker described an animal that had been born in a zoo. After some years they built a multi-million dollar display, simulating the natural habitat for the animal, thinking that it would create a better, happier space for the animal. When it was released into its new space, much to their surprise, it stayed to one small area. It only walked the same path over and over, creating a rut in the ground, which got deeper as time went on. The animal had all this beautiful space, but it stayed in that one little rut and didn’t roam elsewhere! The speaker went on to say: aren’t we like that sometimes? We get in a rut, doing and thinking the same things over and over – missing so much of what could be if we just got out of the rut.

If you’ve read my last couple of meditations, you’ll know that I spoke of Lent as an opportunity to “get naked” to remove the “cloak” that holds us from being more present to life, to others and to God. When we, with the help of a Power greater than ourselves, remove whatever that is and stand naked in life, present, alive and aware – we get outa the rut and into the groove!

Suddenly, we begin to live again! Suddenly we look around and see so much of life around us. We slowly crawl out of that rut and begin, perhaps fearfully at first, to wander out into the beauty that we have been missing. All that beauty, all those people, all those possibilities suddenly open up before us – because we have had the courage to name that which keeps us all bound up, because we have had the courage to call on a Power greater than ourselves to free us.

Have you named the cloak that you need to remove, the cloak that keeps you separated from life, from others and from God? Have you called on a Higher Power to help you, trusting that the help WILL come? Is the cloak beginning to fall away?

Are you getting out of the rut, and into the groove?

Getting Naked Yet? February 28, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Addiction, Change.
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So, . . . how’s it goin?  You getting naked yet?  Beginning to take off that cloak which separates you from God and others?  Have you identified what it is?  You could have several cloaks actually.  Don’t get too ambitious.  Just try taking off one.  If you’re like me, I know the cloak that I need to remove.  It’s glaringly obvious to me.  But I begin to reach for the snap that will remove it; and suddenly I get frightened.  What is life going to like without this cloak?  I’ve worn it for such a long time!  What will I say, how will I act without this cloak?  What’s it going to be like to be naked?  O my God, I can’t even believe that I’m thinking about removing this from my life and getting naked!

I remember when I was trying to quit smoking some years ago, I could NOT imagine what my life would be without cigarettes.  How could I possibly enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning WITHOUT a cigarette?  How could I possibly talk on the phone without a cigarette?  How could I work, have a relaxing evening, clean, work on a project at home (the list goes on), WITHOUT having a cigarette???  It truly seemed unimaginable to me at the time.  Now, I look back and say to myself, “what was I thinking??”  The truth is, it’s glorious to have coffee in the morning WITHOUT a cigarette.  It’s great working, relaxing, walking, talking with friends, WITHOUT a cigarette.  It’s so freeing and I feel so much better.

Why then is it so difficult for me to envision my life without the cloak that I wear now?  If we have been freed before, why is it difficult to imagine our life without lethargy and exercising?  Why is it so difficult to imagine our life eating the right foods that will give us energy?  Why is it so hard to imagine our life without so much internet, TV, without a negative attitude, more attentive to the needs of others?

Perhaps that’s the key.  Imagination.  Thinking.  Envisioning.  Can I begin to think in a new and exciting way about what life would be like without this cloak; instead of concentrating so negatively on what it would be like?  Because the truth is this:   Our lives will be IMMEASURABLY better WITHOUT this negative pattern of behavior!  Perhaps that’s where we need to keep the focus of our thoughts.

God help me to imagine myself without this cloak that weighs me down!  Help me to envision myself naked, happy and free!

Get Naked! February 25, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Change, Lent, Personal Growth.
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I recently heard a wonderful conference in which the speaker used the example of the blind man Bartimaeus (Mark 10: 46-52) who cries out to Jesus “I want to see!” Two things that the presenter said about this story struck me that have bearing on my living and on the season of Lent.

First, notice that in the story many people tell Bartimaeus to be quiet! They try to shut him up! They don’t like what he’s saying. After all, according to the prevalent thought of the day, Bartimaeus would have been considered a “sinner,” an outsider, a nobody – someone to shun and avoid. He certainly would have held no status in the religious establishment. Notice what Bartimaeus does after being told to shut up. He speaks even louder!

Sometimes the institution, be it church, society, political, the workplace, family or friends – sometimes the institution tries to shut people up. Like Bartimaeus though, I pray for the courage to only speak louder! Notice too that Jesus does not shun Bartimaeus. If anything he ignores the people telling Bartimaeus to shut up, but looks with compassion upon Bartimaeus.

Secondly, notice what Bartimaeus does when Jesus calls him over. He removes his cloak and runs to Jesus – buck naked!! He removes anything which would hold him from being fully present to Jesus and to others.

This Lent, what “cloak” do I need to remove? What is it that keeps me from being fully present to God and others? It could be a variety of things from an addiction, to a negative attitude, to fear, a poor self image, self centeredness, etc. What needs to be removed so that I can be more fully alive and present to Life and others? In what way do I need to get naked?

 

Obama – Savior of the World? January 22, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Change, Politics and Religion.
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Read this passage:  Mark 3: 7-12

Does is sound familiar to the events of a couple of days ago?  People come from many parts and from great distances because they have heard of this Jesus and all that he does and can do.  They press around him to hear him, get a glimpse of him and, if they’re lucky, to actually touch him.  It’s funny, it even seems like Jesus has his entourage, his “Secret Service” as it were, as he asks them to have a fishing boat ready for him so he could avoid the press of the crowd around him.  Sound familiar?

I certainly wish President Obama all the best in his administration.  And although a part of me hesitates at the amount of money spent on it during these hard economic times, his inauguration was indeed one of a kind, bringing together people of every race, background, lifestyle, economic bracket etc.   I hold out great, but realistic hope for what can be done, under his leadership.  I fear though that many look to him as the savior, the one who, single handedly, is going to lead the world out of its mire of economic woes, poverty and violence to the promised land.  I sincerely hope for that possibility, but I think it’s good for us to keep in mind the consistent message that we’re hearing from his administration:  it can’t be done alone.  We all must take responsibility and do our part to make things better.  If anything, he stands as a beackon, a light that is energizing many people to realize their OWN power and their possibility of making a concrete difference in the world.

In some ways I think Jesus did the same.  Did he “save” the world?  Was everything better after he died and rose?  No.  But what he did do is stand as a beackon, a light that pointed to what is possible for those who BELIEVE that they CAN be healed, that hungry masses CAN be fed and that new life CAN come from seemingly death dealing situations.

So what am I saying here?  Sometimes we have a tendency to look to someone to lead us out of our darkness.  We look to a savior to take us by the hand and give us everything that we want or need.  I truly believe that there is a Power that can carry us and do unimaginable things within us; but I also believe that we must cooperate with that Power and do what we can to take responsibility for our lives and those of others – leading from darkness to light and new possibility.

What within me or my world needs to be “saved?”  What action can I take to be a “savior” in those situations?

Come and See January 17, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Actions Speak, Change, Risk.
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John 1: 35-42

Did you ever feel totally unconscious in life, like you were just going through the motions with little internal inertia?  Perhaps the early followers of Jesus were feeling like that.  Obviously they were seeking something, searching.  Were they dissatisfied with where their life was?  Jesus notices them following him and asks them:  “What are you looking for?”  Now, you would think that they would have responded with various requests, dreams for their lives, meaning, healing or whatever.  But they don’t.  What they say is:  “Rabbi, where do you stay?”

I’m not sure that the disciples had a clue of what they were looking for.  But there was something about this man that beckoned them, something about him stirred something within them.  What they did do is act!  Jesus says:  “Come and see.”  And that’s what they did.  They put one foot in front of the other and spent time with him – having no idea where it would lead.

Sometimes life is like that isn’t it?  Something just isn’t quite right, we’re not quite satisfied, yet we don’t know what it is that we seek.  Perhaps in times like this what we need to do is act, put one foot in front of the other, walk outside the closed doors of our being and try something, something healthy for our bodies, minds and spirits.  Who knows where it may lead?

Be A PART of the Solution January 12, 2009

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Change, Civil Rights, Coming Out, Gay, Gay Christian, Gay Rights, gay spirituality.
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“Reform your lives!” (Mark 1: 14-20)

So often we feel paralysed, seemingly incapable of “re-forming” things in our life or the life of our world.

I recently talked with a young gay man who works in a church and he spoke to me of the guilt he felt in representing a church who contributes to the pain of other gay people. He spoke sadly of the high suicide rate among gay and lesbian teens, largely because of the messages they receive from their churches about being bad, sick, disordered and an abomination. He is a music director in a church and loves inspiring people through music. He is also a man of faith. Yet he feels hypocritical for working for a religious institution that contributes to the death of young gay people through the messages they send out. I asked him to look for various ways, if even small, that he can send out a different message, even if it is one on one, ways in which he could be a leaven in the bread as it were. He’s not powerless to make a change.

Alone, we may not seem like we can do much to change things. But together, there is much that can change. I think of the motto of the Equal Rights Campaign – come out, come out – one person at a time. Little by little it adds up.

I also received an email from the publisher of “Epistle,” a web magazine for gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender Christians. It is linked on my site here: epistle.us. He spoke of an email he received from a straight evangelical Christian who had been grappling with his church’s negative teachings about gay people. He found this site and it helped him realize that we are not aweful people, but human, Christian, struggling, . . . just like him. I realized in that email that what I write CAN make a difference in the lives of others and that is my desire. Nothing would make me feel better than to know that I had saved a life by what I write here.

Perhaps we can’t do everything to change things in our world, but each of us, no matter what our situation, can do some small thing to be an agent of change. Each of us can somehow be a part of the solution – no matter the problem that we’re seeking to change. And we need not be paralysed by ever thinking there’s nothing we can do.

 

Go For It! December 29, 2008

Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Change.
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Depending on what’s going on in your life, the holidays can either be something that you welcome or that you want to avoid, or somewhere in between. Whatever the case, there is, after Christmas, a sense of pause, out of the routine of normal schedule, at least for many. This forms within a natural contemplative space, which points us to a new year that is about to dawn and to thoughts of personal evaluation. All of this of course leads to New Year’s resolutions.

The time when we come near to ending one year and beginning another has a freshness about it. The past is past and we look to the future with new hope. An energy emerges which gives renewed possibility to what previously may have seemed impossible . . . “I’ll never loose weight! I’ll never be consistent about my diet and exercise! I’ll never find time for my kids! I’ll never find a partner! I’ll never overcome this addiction! I’ll never find the right job! I’ll never feed my mind with more good reading! I’ll never have time for prayer or reflection!” . . . And the list goes on. But, this time of year, doesn’t it seem like some of those “nevers” come closer to being possible?

The important thing to remember, I think, is to be consistent with little changes. Even one small change in a day can make a big difference in overcoming inertia.

Do you see the possibility? Go for it!