Are You Willing? August 18, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Uncategorized.Tags: Bible, Catholicism, Christianity, Courage, Dreams, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Prophets, Religion, Spirituality
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I admire the courage of those who have risked their jobs and the support of family, friends and associates to take a stance, to walk in a new way and to make a new dream a reality. It is such people that make things change. It’s like the thoughts that many have, the conversations about how this or that should be different, suddenly become REAL when someone stops talking and starts doing.
“Everyone who has given up home, brothers or sisters, father or mother, wife or children or property for my sake, will receive many times as much . . .” (See Matthew 19: 23-30)
What am I being called to let go of in order to make a new dream a reality?
Thy Kingdom Come June 2, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in The Meaning of Life.Tags: Bible, Catholicism, Christianity, Death, Gay, gay spirituality, GLBT, Life, Materialism, Meaning, Religion, Spirituality
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I have, of late, been extremely focused on and busy about the details of selling a house, buying a house, moving and all that entails.
Today, I, along with a large community of people, lay to rest a bright, compassionate young man who was killed in an auto accident.
In the presence of such an event I am again reminded that the building of our “kingdoms” here don’t matter a great deal. What matters is the building of hearts, the building up of people. This is true wealth, the creation of true beauty – and it is only this that gives joy and meaning to life.
I realize that this is one of those seasons of transition in life; yet it begs me to ask the question: How much time do I give to the care of “things?” Conversely, how much time do I give to the care of people?
Thy kingdom come.
Am I Good News? May 24, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Positive Thinking, Relationships.Tags: Bible, Catholicism, Christianity, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Good News, Gospel, Religion, Spirituality
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“Go into the whole world and proclaim the good news!” (Mark 16: 15)
I remember my Mom growing up saying of this or that person “he’s bad news.” The message was obvious, stay clear of him and for God’s sake, don’t be like him! Jesus in the Gospel says to his disciples that they are to go into the whole world and proclaim the good news.
Am I good news? Or am I bad news? Is my life a reflection of good news for people? Does my presence brighten the world around me, or does it drain others?
Our lives are meant to be a reflection of the good news. I am called to point to and reflect what is good about life. This challenges me to think if that, indeed, is a reality in my life? If I gossip or tear others down, I am not a reflection of what is good. If I complain all the time, point out what is wrong with others or the world, I am not good news. If I berate myself every time I look in the mirror, I am not good news.
Go, let your life be a proclamation of the good news! Your reflection of what is good will have a ripple affect on the world. Our lives really do matter!
Staying Connected May 10, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Mind-Spirit Food, Personal Growth.Tags: Bible, Catholicism, Christianity, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Gay Life, gay spirituality, GLBT, Relationships, Religion, Spirituality, The Source
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John 15: 1-8
“I am the vine. . . . Remain in me.”
To what or to whom do you stay connected? Is it a good connection? Is it a connection that feeds you, one that nourishes your spirit, one that gives you joy and life? To what or to whom do you turn to when the chips are down?
If I am to be honest, I have to say that sometimes I turn to things or people that are not the best for me. My spirit ends up further eroded. Gratefully I eventually return to the Source that does nourish my spirit in good ways – and people that share and support that connection.
When I remove myself from my Source due to busyness, worry, compulsive behavior and the like, I begin to whither. I can literally feel the life force drain from my body. When I seek to re-establish that connection I feel the life force return.
To what, or to Whom are you connected? Is it a good connection?
Change – A Door (We Want to Aviod) April 27, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Change.Tags: Bible, Catholicism, Change, Christianity, Gay, gay spirituality, GLBT, Personal Growth, Queer, Relationships, Religion, Self Help, Spirituality
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Acts 6: 8-15
“We’ve heard that Jesus will destroy this place and change the customs which Moses handed on to us.”
These people felt threatened! They didn’t want the system to change. When we feel threatened, when life begins to shift for whatever reason we will go to any length to keep things the way they are. The folks in Jesus’ day resorted to murder – Jesus’ murder and that of many of his followers. We have a tendency to want to silence the prophets even in our own day.
We don’t like change. But we have a choice. In some situations, we don’t have to change. Someone may be forcing a change on us against our will that is unhealthy. In such a situation we have the perfect right to refuse to change. However, many situations of change might be good for us and those we love – but we go kicking and screaming! In such situations, can I see change as an opportunity instead of a dark, negative place?
A few years ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I loved him very much and I went kicking and screaming into this breakup. I didn’t want it. However, as my Momma used to say: “hindsight is 20/20!” Looking back, that break up was needed. That very difficult change in my life threw me into a tailspin – yet opened doors and places within me that were closed while I was with him. Something seemingly negative became the doorway to new life.
Are you in the midst of a change in your life? Can we see the silver lining in the cloud and the positive things that just might unfold as a result of it?
What We Have Seen and Heard April 23, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Actions Speak.Tags: Bible, Catholicism, Christianity, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, gay spirituality, GLBT, Peace, Religion, Spirituality, Witness
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John 3: 31-36
“The one who comes from above testifies to what they have seen and heard.”
Sometimes that’s just a bit different from prevailing religious thought. It was for Jesus. That’s why he was killed.
What have you seen and heard? What is the truth of your spiritual journey in life? How do you give witness to that? Has it gotten you in trouble with prevailing religious thought?
I think of the many people who challenge me by giving witness to goodness, kindness, self giving, sacrificial love – by never saying a word. They simply live it. They preach by the way they live. I think this is the most authentic witness that we can give to “what we have seen and heard.” When someone is able to see that I am able to grab onto faith in the midst of crisis, when someone sees that I am concerned for others, when someone is fed and calmed by my presence – I am a witness to what I have seen and heard, I am a witness to what I have read, digested, what I have prayed and meditated.
What message is my life speaking today?
First Things First April 21, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Anxiety, Contemplative Value, Spiritual "Practice".Tags: 12 Step Work, AA, Bible, Centering, Christianity, Detachment, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Meditation, Prayer, Religion, Spirituality
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Can you relate to this?
Why is it that when I hit a stressful time in life, the very things – like meditation and exercise – that would help relieve stress, are the very first things to get bumped from the daily routine? It’s like something within me says, “there’s no time for this!” And so, I begin to shave these things from my daily routine. Then over time, I wonder why I am getting more stressed, having difficulty sleeping and focusing!
In reality, these are the most important things NOT to bump from the schedule in the midst of a difficult time. They are the very life-blood that keeps me grounded. Without them, all else begins to suffer – my work, my relationships, even my play time!
I lay awake last night, once again, feeling the pent up energy in my body and my restless spirit as my mind whirled. I have not exercised in a while. No wonder I am having difficulty sleeping. So much pent up energy! I have not really given myself to meditation in a while. No wonder I have difficulty focusing!
The irony is this: when I bump meditation and exercise from the schedule, it seems I don’t have enough time. When I take the time to meditate and exercise, it seems as if I have much more time on my hands, time even to play!
First things first. What are the REALLY important things that I need to maintain in order to live well, even in the midst of a stressful time?
LIVING In the Storm April 7, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Detachment.Tags: AA, Bible, Catholicism, Christianity, Detachment, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Patience, Queer
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I am going through a bit of a major shift in my life. In one sense it’s not a big deal. In another, it’s a HUGE deal. And it’s one of those situations where you don’t know whether or not it’s all going to work out. Ever been there?
My tendency in such times is to stop living. I get so focused on the challenge at hand that I put my life and sometimes my relationships on hold. This is no way to live. OK, it usually takes me a while to learn things; but learn I do! This “storm” in my life is presenting me with a wonderful opportunity to learn patience and detachment. It presents me with another lesson in what it means to be so detached that I can continue to LIVE in the midst of the storm. Do what I must, yes. But then, let go and allow it to go where it will.
We CAN live in the midst of the storm!
The Truth Will Set You Free April 1, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Change, Truth.Tags: 12 Steps, AA, Bible, Catholicism, Christianity, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, Lent, Personal Growth, Personal Improvement, Relationships
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“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8: 31).
Did you ever try to run from the truth? Have you, or are you hiding something from your partner? Have you ever, or are you now living in denial about some negative behavior in your life?
OR
Have you ever, or are you now not acknowledging the truth of your goodness, what you have to offer to others, the gift that you are?
We spend tremendous amounts of energy hiding from the truth. No wonder we’re so tired out at times. Once we acknowledge the truth, it’s like a heavy weight is lifted from our shoulders and we begin to know what it is to walk through life with a bit of a lilt in our step.
For years I hid the truth of who I was. I hid it from others and I hid it from myself. I lived in a prison of fear and struggle, fighting these feelings I had for those of my own sex. After all, if I was “one of those” I was told I was headed to hell! I will always remember the spring day when I first uttered those words out loud: “I am gay.” I was shaking. I was so frightened; . . . and yet exhilarated at the same time as I felt myself being freed. And you know what? After I said it, the world didn’t come to an end. As a matter of fact it felt like a two ton weight was lifted off of me. The truth set me free.
Perhaps there is a truth within that you are struggling to acknowledge. It might be a negative behavior that you’re hiding, or it might be realizing and acknowledging your giftedness. Perhaps it might be good to sit and feel the weight, the pressure, all the energy that you’re spending hiding that truth. Do you really want to live this way? The first step to living more fully is acknowledging the truth. In A.A. they say: “We ADMITTED we were powerless over alcohol.” It is the admission, the acknowledgement that is the first step to freedom. The truth will set us free!
Are You Afraid? March 20, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Anxiety, Fear.Tags: Bible, Catholocism, Christianity, Fear, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, GLBT, God, Personal Growth, Religion, Spirituality, Trust
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I think of various people in my life and the fear that they carry. I think of friends who are unemployed, dealing with family situations, fearing for their children’s future, trying to make ends meet, trying to support a partner who is depressed, a friend who battles panic disorder – somewhat brought on by the “fear of God” instilled in her as a child. I think of those in far distant lands who daily live in fear for their lives – people in Iraq, Darfur and Zimbabwe. I think too of the fear that I carry within me about my future and my job as a gay man in church ministry. There is a lot of fear out there and a lot of fear within. So how do we alleviate some of this fear?
Trust.
Do you know one of those people who, despite life’s circumstances, continue to trust that God will indeed take care of them? I know of a man who has been unemployed for almost a year now, recently divorced, trying to care for his three children. He is one of the happiest, most peaceful, self giving people I know. I’m sure he has his moments, but in general he exudes a sense of peacefulness and trust. Wouldn’t that be a great way to go through life? After all, does all our worry make any difference at all?
If I am in fear, can I take a step in trust today and live a little more peacefully and positively, trusting that somehow things will work out? Can I see God as a loving, good parent who wants the best for His/Her children? Easier said than done I know. Some days it might be easier and other days more difficult. That’s ok. But just a small step in trust might help us get on with life and what we need to do. And really, wouldn’t that be a much better way to go through life?
