The Price of Speaking Up August 31, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Relationships, Speaking the Truth.Tags: Character Defects, Conflict Resolution, Confrontation, Courage, Fear, Gay, gay spirituality, Homosexuality, LGBT, Prophecy, Queer, Religion, Spirituality, Truth
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Jeremiah 20: 7-9
Matthew 16: 21-27
Sometimes the truth is a real pain in the ass!
Were you ever in a situation, perhaps in your church, job or in a political situation, or perhaps in your own family, where people were talking about something with which you passionately disagreed? Or perhaps it was a friend of yours or your own partner who was doing something that was hurting him/herself or others. You knew in your heart that you needed to say something, but were afraid of what the reaction would be. Your heart began to pound as you gathered the courage to speak up. And then you finally did. Chances are, there were some people that did not like what you said.
The reality is, sometimes people are not going to like us if we speak up. We see in the readings from Jeremiah and Matthew how Jeremiah and Jesus are hated for what they say. I’m sure both were tempted to just put up and shut up. Life would have probably been more peaceful, more tidey. Yet somehow, when we don’t speak up, something inside of us dies. A Word inside of us dies and a person or persons who might otherwise be lifted up to a new way of thinking and being, go on their way living half a life.
It’s important to remember that when prophets speak they don’t speak in anger. They don’t just throw around negative energy. They speak out of a place of love and concern.
Am I willing to let go my ego’s desire to be liked, in order that someone might hear a word of challenge that may help them? Do I have the courage to speak the truth in love?
In the Divine Image July 23, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Gay, Gay Christian, gay spirituality.Tags: Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, gay spirituality, GLBT, Homosexuality, Personal Growth, Queer, Religion, Spirituality
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“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.”
See Jeremiah 1
For years people told me that I was NOT formed in the womb as I was, but that I was sinful, flawed, intrinsically disordered and in need of healing. I was told that the very essence of who I was, was flawed. Of course, there are still many voices today that shout those messages. They contend that I have chosen this, that I am deviant.
It took a long time for me to come to the realization that I was created by God, AS I WAS, and that “God saw that it was good!” This short line from Jeremiah was very helpful to me in my time of struggle. How wonderful and what a relief it was to know in my heart that “before God formed me in the womb, God knew me!” What a relief it was to know in my bone marrow that I was not this awful human being, but made in the Divine image!
Isn’t it interesting that many religions have turned being gay into a sin and a source of great shame. Yet some other cultures at times in history held gay people in high esteem. They were honored as shamans, healers and priests because, instead of somehow being flawed, they were thought to have within them the unity of male and female and so reflected more fully the Divine image! Even today, many gay people instinctively choose professions of healing, ministry and art.
No matter who you are, whether gay or straight, do you see the Divine image in you? Are you able to see yourself as a wonderful creation? Yes, we all have our character defects. But can you see the good in you, that you are made in the Divine image and that God is pleased with the work of His/Her hands?
Lifting Up Gay Spirits July 6, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Gay, Gay Christian, gay spirituality.Tags: Fear, Freedom, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, gay spirituality, GLBT, Homosexuality, Hope, Queer, Religion, Spirituality
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Matthew 11: 25-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and find life burdensome, and I will refresh you.”
I will never forget the absolute relief that I felt the day I realized in my heart and in my bone marrow that I was created and loved by God as I was! That moment, sitting in a small chapel in St. Louis, praying Psalm 139 in the darkness, will be forever etched on my memory. “It was you who knit me together in my mother’s womb. . . . I thank you for the wonder of my being.”
I didn’t even realize how heavy the burden was. I didn’t realize the weight of fear that I carried on my back, having taken in messages that I was sick, sinful, an abomination and the like since childhood. What a horrible thing to do to a child! And that is what we all are, children. My burden was indeed heavy. And it saddens me that the same messages are still out there and that there continues to be many gay people walking around burdened, fearful and in terror of going to hell!
If you are one such person, know that you are not alone and that you are loved by God as you are. Look around. There are many people like you that are gay, happy and faith filled people. You CAN be gay AND have God in your life! After all, you are in God’s image. You are God’s Word spoken in time, as you are, with a mission. You are “fearfully, wonderfully made!”(Psalm 139)
I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful spiritual director when I was coming out, who walked me through a process that lead me to that day in the chapel in St. Louis. Many don’t have that good fortune. And if there’s any passion that I have in this life, it is to be a help in the same way to gay people that struggle today. If you are one such person I hope that you find my blog, as well as other resources that are available, a help in lifting the burden of fear from your shoulders and gift that gives you a new lease on life.
Whoever you are, gay or straight, we all carry heavy burdens in life at times. A Power Greater Than Ourselves CAN lift those burdens. And that Power works in many different ways. The Power works through the internet crossing boundaries of language and country to bring people together. That Power works through the silence, whispering a word of hope to our hearts. And that Power works through flesh and blood, through the comfort of a human being that can help lift our burdens and free us from our fear.
I pray that all those who visit this site – whoever you are and whatever your state in life – find here a word that lifts your hearts and helps you to know . . . you are not alone.
“I’m Not Religious!” June 18, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Spirituality Vss. Religion.Tags: Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Homosexuality, Personal Growth, Religion, Self Help, Spirituality
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I meet many gay people who identify themselves as not being religious. When I mention that I’m into “spirituality,” I sometimes get these skeptical looks, especially if they don’t know me personally. I recently was talking with a guy online who, after finding out that spirituality is an important part of my life, said to me that he isn’t religious. One of the questions I asked him was, “How do you think your friends would describe you?” He went on to say that he thinks they would describe him as a giver, one who looks out for others, one who goes out of his way to make sure life goes well for others, one who enjoys taking care of others. . . . Sounds like the guy knows what Love is about! I went on to tell him that the bottom line of living any “spirituality” or “religion” is about self giving love – not about religious observance. Any spiritual or religious observance is meant to form us into being loving, compassionate, self-giving people. Unfortunately, what happens sometimes is that the “observance” becomes the main focus, over and above loving action toward others.
“Be on your guard against performing religious acts for people to see. . . . When you give alms, don’t go blowing your horn about it! . . . When you pray, do it in secret . . .” Matthew 6: 1-6, 16-18
I think the guy I talked to the other day who said “I’m not religious” knows what it means to live a truly “religious,” “spiritual” life.
Is my spiritual practice forming me into a more loving, self giving person? Or is it just for show?
“Diversity” . . . Really??? June 17, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Diversity.Tags: Diversity, Gay, gay spirituality, Homosexuality, Queer, Religion, Spirituality
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“Diversity?”. . . Really??
“If you love only those who love you, what merit is there in that? . . . If you greet your brothers and sisters only, what is so praiseworthy about that?” (See Matthew 5: 43-48)
I sometimes pride myself on being open to “diversity,” an oft used word today. Certainly as a gay man, I pride myself in being open to a variety of people and am big on acceptance! But if the truth be known, sometimes I live in the narrow parameters of my own ghetto, my own group. I am sad to say that sometimes I avoid those who disagree with me and I judge them in my heart. For example, I avoid close minded, right wing fundamentalist types. But if I cannot be open to these people, “what merit is there in that?” If I greet only my own, am I truly open to diversity?
Also, when it comes to the world stage, if I am only reading and watching things which agree with my world view, what merit is there in that? Should I not also listen to and read about what the opposing camp is saying? Perhaps the key is in the word “listen.” All too often, opposing camps simply express their own thoughts and opinions without listening to what the other side has to say. I am just as guilty as anyone else about that. So I have to ask myself today, how truly open to “diversity” am I?
Contemplative Do Nothings June 11, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Balance, Contemplative Value.Tags: Contemplation, Contemplatives, Eckhart Tolle, Gay, Homosexuality, Queer, Religion, Spirituality
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I last wrote of feeling a sense of creative depression and the fact that I have often felt guilty as I seem to require significant spaces of quiet in my life. As such, I have never quite squared up with those who are constantly about this or that task and who accomplish much in their lives. As I was reading the end of Tolle’s book, he described people like me and I was reminded again of the value of Contemplative Do Nothings. He calls us “The Frequency Holders,” and contends that in the new earth – the conscious earth – we are invaluable. Our contribution in our contemplative nothingness is to bring consciousness to the world.
Contemplative Do Nothings are of inestimable value to the world, in that they are like the keepers of the flame – those who imbue the world with meaning and depth. We are the like the Lynx, that wonderful medium sized cat who symbolizes the link between this world and the next. Perhaps we Contemplative Do Nothings are those who point to the Eternal in the midst of the Finite, those who point to Limitless Infinity in the midst of the seemingly limited world of form. And what a gift this is to bring to life! We are those who give birth to art and music in the world. In themselves, art and music seem of no constructive value, no productive purpose. But imagine a world without art and music and we quickly realize their inestimable value to our daily lives! How poor and lifeless our world would be without them! And indeed, how very poor and lifeless our world would be without “The Frequency Holders,” the Contemplative Do Nothings!
The Biblical Divide June 3, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Gay, The Bible and Homosexuality, gay spirituality.Tags: Gay, gay spirituality, Homosexuality, Religion, Spirituality, The Bible and Homosexuality
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If you are struggling with being gay and reconciling your relationship with God and what the Bible says, again, I strongly recommend a viewing of the Documentary “For the Bible Tells Me So.”
It speaks to what I call the Biblical Divide. There are two different ways that people interpret the Bible: Literally OR using Historical/Critical Interpretation. Those who interpret the Bible literally take it at face value. The Bible says this, and that’s it! They do not take into consideration the context, culture, customs and literary genre of a particular passage. I don’t understand how this is done as the Bible contradicts itself in places. It clearly supports slavery, calls us not to kill in the 10 commandments and then commands that people be killed if they don’t follow various religious prescriptions. Such literal interpretation can lead to all sorts of aberrations and inaccurate interpretations. The Historical/Critical method takes into account the intent of the author, the time in which the author lived, the culture and customs of the time and certainly the literary genre of the particular book. All of us automatically know the difference between a historical account and a metaphor. However, if we didn’t know the difference between the two, we would take both at face value. Another book I highly recommend as a fairly easy introduction to Historical/Critical Biblical Interpretation is And God Said What? An Introduction to Biblical Literary Forms by Margaret Nutting Ralph (published by Paulist Press). It is EXTREMELY important that we take into account the literary genre the Biblical author was using – let alone the historical and cultural context in which the book was written. This yields a much more accurate interpretation of the Divine message!
I would like to quote Dr. Ralph’s introduction here to illustrate the importance of knowing the literary genre of any Biblical text in order to obtain a more accurate interpretation:
“Anyone who reads a newspaper is familiar with the idea of various kinds of writing, various literary forms or genres. . . . In a newspaper we read a variety of kinds of writing – we read straight news reporting, editorials, comics and advise columns to name a few. There are not little explanations of the kinds of writing with each column because the reader is supposed to be able to recognize the differences. The form, or genre, tells the reader something about the intent of the writer. If the reader misunderstands the genre, the reader may think that the author has said something which the author hasn’t said at all (emphasis mine). For instance, Erma Bombeck, an American humorist who poked fun at herself as a housewife, claimed that dryers ate socks. Everyone who uses a dryer knows what she meant. If a person from another culture were unacquainted with a dryer and did not know the literary form in which Erma Bombeck wrote, he or she might misss the intent of the writer and misunderstand entirely” (p.2).
This is just ONE thing that needs to be taken into account when one is attempting an accurate interpretation of a Biblical text. Even just reading a particular passage in context is helpful. For example the oft quoted Leviticus text (Leviticus 20:13) used to condemn homosexuality as an abomination is set within a list of things called an abomination including the eating of shell fish (Leviticus 11: 9-12).
An interesting illustration is given regarding Biblical Literalists (aka Fundamentalists) in the DVD “For the Bible Tells Me So.” One of the central teachings of Jesus is that if we are to be his followers we are to sell all that we have, give it to the poor and then come follow him. It then goes on to list the annual income of some prominent Fundamentalist Preachers. It doesn’t seem like they’re taking this central tenant of Jesus literally!
God Loves Fags June 2, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Gay, gay spirituality.Tags: Christianity, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Homosexuality, Queer, Religion, Spirituality
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I am amazed how many still suffer because they are told they are hated by God, an abomination and the like. It pains me deeply that some guy or girl is sitting in their home today thinking they are evil or disordered or sinful because they are gay. It is those people I most want to reach in my blog. It is their hearts that I want to reach. If one gay person realized they were loved as they are by God and began to live life with a sense of self worth as a result of reading this blog, my life would have been worth while.
I think sometimes I am naïve to the many and powerful voices out there that continue to speak loudly a message of Divine disappointment at best, and Divine hatred at the worst. For some reason they think that if gay people are accepted – life as we know it will end. If gay people make a lifetime commitment to one another in love, this will somehow unravel the very fabric of family and society. In an age when divorce is common and easy, gay people are petitioning to MAKE a commitment and be public witnesses to life time commitment and fidelity. How can this possibly hurt the fabric of family and society? Once when I was at my State Capitol to support gay rights, I ran into an elderly couple that were holding up a sign that said: “Their
Gay Commitment Supports Our Straight Marriage!” I went over and thanked them and talked with them a while. They said they had no one in their family who was gay, no one they knew was gay and they were good church going people. The told me that they came in support of gay marriage because any who want to make a commitment in an age of precarious commitments need to be supported. They felt that their life time commitment to one another could be nothing but supported in and through others making this same commitment. I wonder how many who preach of the dangers of gay marriage to family life are divorced; and how many in their congregations are divorced? I wonder if any of them speak as vehemently to the dangers of greed, corporate pressure, overwork and never ending consumerism as being cancers which eat away at family life?
I feel called to add my voice to the other voices of tolerance, compassion and love. To any who may be struggling with being gay and reconciling that with their relationship with God – this blog is for you. I hope you will find here a word that comforts your spirit and enlivens you as you feel the love of God who formed you in the womb as you are. I hope you will increasingly feel yourself to be in the image of your Creator and know the Divine Spirit that breaths within you.
I highly recommend viewing a relatively new Documentary entitled “For the Bible Tells Me So.” It is a very good treatment of the Bible, God, family and being gay. Take a look at it. No matter what the fundamentalist voices may tell you, . . . know that you ARE loved by God.
