Getting Naked Yet? February 28, 2009
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Addiction, Change.Tags: Addiction, Catholicism, Change, Christianity, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Lent, Negative Thinking, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking, Religion, Self Improvement, Spirituality
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So, . . . how’s it goin? You getting naked yet? Beginning to take off that cloak which separates you from God and others? Have you identified what it is? You could have several cloaks actually. Don’t get too ambitious. Just try taking off one. If you’re like me, I know the cloak that I need to remove. It’s glaringly obvious to me. But I begin to reach for the snap that will remove it; and suddenly I get frightened. What is life going to like without this cloak? I’ve worn it for such a long time! What will I say, how will I act without this cloak? What’s it going to be like to be naked? O my God, I can’t even believe that I’m thinking about removing this from my life and getting naked!
I remember when I was trying to quit smoking some years ago, I could NOT imagine what my life would be without cigarettes. How could I possibly enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning WITHOUT a cigarette? How could I possibly talk on the phone without a cigarette? How could I work, have a relaxing evening, clean, work on a project at home (the list goes on), WITHOUT having a cigarette??? It truly seemed unimaginable to me at the time. Now, I look back and say to myself, “what was I thinking??” The truth is, it’s glorious to have coffee in the morning WITHOUT a cigarette. It’s great working, relaxing, walking, talking with friends, WITHOUT a cigarette. It’s so freeing and I feel so much better.
Why then is it so difficult for me to envision my life without the cloak that I wear now? If we have been freed before, why is it difficult to imagine our life without lethargy and exercising? Why is it so difficult to imagine our life eating the right foods that will give us energy? Why is it so hard to imagine our life without so much internet, TV, without a negative attitude, more attentive to the needs of others?
Perhaps that’s the key. Imagination. Thinking. Envisioning. Can I begin to think in a new and exciting way about what life would be like without this cloak; instead of concentrating so negatively on what it would be like? Because the truth is this: Our lives will be IMMEASURABLY better WITHOUT this negative pattern of behavior! Perhaps that’s where we need to keep the focus of our thoughts.
God help me to imagine myself without this cloak that weighs me down! Help me to envision myself naked, happy and free!
I Want To Get Pregnant! December 19, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas, Believe, Positive Thinking.Tags: Advent, Belief, Believing, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Positive Thinking, Religion, Spirituality, The Secret, Watching Thoughts
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Luke 1: 5-25
You have given sterility its pregnancy! We are, once again, beckoned to believe in the impossible. We have in our readings two stories of women who were sterile, but become pregnant. It’s interesting to note that these stories are fairly common in the Scriptures and always the child to be born is destined to make a great difference for the good of the people. Great things happen from seemingly impossible situations! Can you believe it?? I have difficulty believing it, like Zechariah, and so I remain unable to speak, paralyzed in my journey. We all experience “sterility” in our lives, in one way or another. What is sterile in your life these days? What’s sterile in the life of our world? Can I believe that this sterility can be overcome and new life can emerge? It’s just a matter of believing! AND taking action. What’s some small thing that I can do today to give pregnancy to a part of my life, or that of our world, that is lifeless and sterile? If I am honest, most of the time I am like Zechariah who basically looks at the angel and says “yeah, . . . Right! You have GOT to be kidding!” Most of the time I am like Zechariah and don’t believe that incredible things can happen in my life and the life of the world. And in my lack of belief, I remain like Zechariah, lifeless, speechless and a bit listless and lethargic. We are knocked over the head again today by God who says, “Wake up! Believe it!” We are again beckoned to walk through our days believing that life CAN be different, that the world CAN be different! The past couple of weeks I have felt listless. This morning when I read these readings and pondered them, I felt deep within me “Yeah right, . . . You have GOT to be kidding!” And then I started to change my thinking and believe that maybe, just maybe the impossible can happen. I’m not sure if it will. But you know what? . . . I’m not listless anymore. A little pregnancy has been given to my listless sterility.
Believing Is Seeing December 15, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas, Believe, Positive Thinking.Tags: Believing, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Positive Thinking, Religion, Spirituality, The Holidays
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Most of us think it’s the other way around, . . . don’t we? When I experience it, when I see it, when you show me, then I’ll believe it. Isn’t this the spoken or inward response that we have to something that even slightly seems out of the ordinary?
Recently I was watching a Christmas movie, I can’t remember what it was called, or even the plot. But what I do remember is this line in the movie: “Seeing isn’t believing. Believing is seeing!”
Probably due to years of my father saying things like I would never amount to anything, that I was good for nothing and could do nothing right, I still, at times, grapple with those messages in my head. This weekend was one such weekend. No matter how many times I have been told that I do good work, this weekend I was simply not feeling it, seeing it, or hearing it. I sat there feeling like a failure. Gratefully I rather quickly became aware of these negative voices in my head. And then I thought of the line from that movie. And immediately, in the middle of performing a task for my job, I began to think about all the successes that I’ve had in my job, all the good things that have been done and almost immediately my mood began to shift to the positive. And, not only that, I began to see and feel differently about what I was experiencing in my job performance.
Believing IS seeing. As we believe, so shall we see and experience life. I also realized that I am in the midst of one hellava “stinkin thinking” streek. And as I have moved inward, enveloped by these negative thoughts, I project that energy outward – and it, indeed becomes my reality. I only pray for the grace to continue to become aware of such negative thinking and, by changing what I believe, what I think, that I will see myself and others differently.
Testify to the Light! December 14, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Advent/Christmas.Tags: Advent, Believing, Christmas, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Gifts, GLBT, Positive Thinking, Relationships, Religion, Spirituality, The Holidays
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It’s SO easy to dwell on what is wrong with our lives, our partner, our job, the church, this or that person and certainly what’s wrong with the world! Why does that seem to come so naturally, yet thinking positively does not.? It’s like we have to train our minds to work and think in different ways. When we do so, then we will come to see life in a new way.
I often ask myself this question: Do I want to be a person that sees and talks about what is good in this world, or what is wrong with it? Whenever I am around someone who consistently has a negative edge to their conversation, I quickly receive an answer to what kind of person I want to be! It’s a drag being around a consistently negative person. Yet I have to admit that I am sometimes negative in what I say and how I perceive myself, others and the world – and I don’t even realize it!
John the Baptist was called to “testify to the light.” I want to be a person that testifies to the light, to what is good. Ironically enough, as the darkness descends, this season is about testifying to what is good in human nature and the world. In the midst of all of our problems, in this season we CONSCIOUSLY take an opportunity to look at what is good, true and beautiful in ourselves and others and celebrate that! The key is in CONSCIOUSLY deciding to look at the good in another.
Today perhaps it’s good to ask ourselves this: Am I person who testify’s to the Light?
I Want to See! November 17, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking.Tags: 12 Steps, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, gay spirituality, Positive Thinking, Religion, Spirituality, Thought, Watching Thoughts
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Luke 18: 35-43
The blind man had balls!
According to the religious understanding of the time, his blindness was a sign that he was a sinner, cursed by God and to be shunned by the community. With great courage he was able to rise above this great wave of religious belief and cry out to Jesus to receive his sight. And Jesus welcomed him and assured him that his faith had healed him.
My vision gets blurred too. Does yours? Of late I have been praying each morning that God would direct my thinking. And God is doing it! I feel like I’m in one of those moments of waking up again. Remember a time when you began to work on some aspect of your personal growth, be it spiritual, mental or physical and things began to fall into place? But then over time, you got distracted, almost without knowing it. And suddenly one day you woke up and realized you were off the path.
I want to see. I want vision and I want to walk in ways that are healthy and life/love giving. It starts with my thinking. When my thinking is warped, my actions and emotions are warped. So I pray each morning that God would direct my thinking, for left to my own devises, I quickly loose sight.
Want to Change? Be Grateful! November 12, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Change, Gratitude.Tags: Change, Christian, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, gay spirituality, Gratitude, Positive Thinking, Religion, Spirituality
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Luke 17: 11-19
What do you really want to change about yourself? Is it a bad habit? A negative attitude? Worry? Shyness? Overwork? Irritability? Diet? Physical activity? Time for reflection? Your social life? Taking care of your health? Your job? How you communicate with your partner? . . .
What do I really want to change about myself? Can I believe that those “leprous” parts of myself can find healing? Can I believe that those parts of myself or my life that are stuck, can get unstuck?
I’m sure the 10 lepers from Luke NEVER imagined that they would REALLY be healed, but they were! And only one came to give thanks. The others just went on. Perhaps that’s a key to healing. GRATITUDE. How often do I walk around life unaware of all that HAS changed in my life? Perhaps if I call to mind the times when I have been healed, when I have been changed, when I have accomplished this or that. Perhaps then a door of Divine Energy would open to change right now what I think cannot change.
Is gratitude a way of opening doors to further healing in my life?
Just A Little Faith – And Watch What Happens! November 10, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Believe, Positive Thinking.Tags: Believing, Faith, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Positive Thinking, Religion, Spirituality, The Secret
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I began praying last week that God would direct my thinking. And it’s happening. I am realizing, particularly in one area of my life, how negative my thinking remains. I am happy that this has been brought to mind, for it gives me an opportunity to change it. We’ll see what else comes to mind as I continue to pray that God direct my thinking.
No matter what may happen in my life that says “this will never happen for you!” I need to have a little faith and keep believing that it will. And it takes just a “little” faith, just a little effort daily to watch my thinking around this area of my life, just a little reminder. I will be interested to see what happens. I look forward to it!
“If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this sycamore, ‘Be uprooted and transplanted into the sea,’ and it would obey you.” (See Luke 17: 6)
The size of a mustard seed. Just a small seed. Just a little faith – and watch what happens!
To The Media – Give Us Some Good News! September 21, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Positive Thinking.Tags: Gay, gay spirituality, LGBT, Media, Mind Power, News, Positive Thinking, Queer, Religion, Spirituality, Thoughts
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I have often thought that if we had a National News program that gave us 30 minutes of nothing but good news, it would gradually have a transforming affect on the nation.
With the advent of 24/7 news channels we can be constantly inundated with news, much of it bad news – the unbelievably wrong things that are happening in the world and in people’s lives. Precious little time is given to anything good that is happening. These 24/7 New stations compete for viewers and, knowing this, must sensationalize as much as possible, doing the most possible to wave their hands and say: Watch me! Watch me! Such attention getting leads to a mentality where the more out of the ordinary the news can be, the better. And increasingly, not only are the so called “facts” presented, but we have unending “commentary” on the News of the day just to fill time. And, of course, in order to get attention, some of this commentary is often skewed and adversarial.
When it comes to the News, the political landscape or the like, give me the facts. Just give me the facts and allow me the consideration of drawing my own conclusions!
Also, give me some good news! Our blood pressure and anxiety levels are high enough. Whether we know it or not, the incessant stream of bad news creates and adds to this. Again, I cannot help but think that if we had more good news, it would gradually have a transforming effect on the Nation and the world. Perhaps we could begin to realize that, contrary to what we might think watching the News, most people are basically good and this world isn’t as frightening as we think it might be. What we think will create more of what we’re thinking about. Perhaps if we had more good news, we would begin to think good thoughts and, in so doing, create more of that in our world.
Protecting Your Investment August 28, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Personal Growth.Tags: Diet, Investements, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking, Religion, Self Help, Spirituality, Watching Thoughts, Wayne Dyer
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“If the owner of the house knew when the thief was coming, she would keep a watchful eye.” See Matthew 24: 42-51
If you are the owner of a house, you know the work that goes into maintaining, caring for and protecting your investment. It is a constant process.
Each of us IS a house. Do we take the same consistent care of the house that we are, as we do our own homes? What are the “thieves” that I need to watch out for? It could be negative thinking. It could be unhealthy food. It could be the lethargy imposed by a lack of physical activity. It could be a lack of reading which feeds our minds and spirits. It could be self centeredness. Am I vigilant about keeping away those things which would drain life from me?
I think of Wayne Dyer’s strength test that he mentioned in one of his talks. I believe it is in his book and set of talks entitled Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling. If you haven’t read or listened to these talks, I highly recommend it! Here’s the exercise he describes: Place something next to your heart, hold out your arm and have someone press down on your arm. If it is something that is healthy and life giving you will have the strength to keep your arm straight up. If what you hold to your heart is something unhealthy, you will not have the strength to hold your arm up. Try it. Parents, try it with your kids. See what happens. What is healthy will give us energy. What is not will deplete our energy.
Am I being watchful in maintaining and protecting the house that I am?
Out of the Negative and Into the Good July 21, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Positive Thinking.Tags: Gay, GLBT, Manifesting, Positive Thinking, Queer, Religion, Spirituality
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Do right. Love goodness. Walk humbly.
See Micah 6: 6-8
What struck me in this reading were the two words “love goodness.” Initially I thought, who wouldn’t want to love goodness? When I thought about it more, it became clear that my thoughts often quickly go from concentrating on what is good to concentrating on what is wrong. It is when I “love goodness,” when my thoughts are on what is good, instead of what is wrong that I walk well in life.
If I keep my thoughts on what is good, good is what I will perceive and experience. If I keep my thoughts on what is good, good is what will flow from my life and actions. I will do right and I will walk humbly. If I am concentrating on what is good in the world and in myself, that is what I will manifest to the world and that is what I will bring out of others.
At times it’s difficult to keep our thoughts on what is good. This or that idiosyncrasy in another or ourselves, this person who holds this or that opinion, and many other things can make it difficult to keep our thoughts on what is good. With practice however, we can go the silent place within, the place of eternity – where one little bothersome thing that I am experiencing in my present seems as nothing in light of eternity. Can I pause when I am upset, put some “space” between what is upsetting me and not allow it to control me?
Are my thoughts focused on what is good today?
