Happiness and the Ever Allusive Boyfriend September 16, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Detachment, Freedom, Happiness.Tags: Anthony de Mello, Boyfriends, Carl Jung, Dating, Detachment, Eckhart Tolle, Freedom, Gay, Gay Catholic, Gay Christian, Gay Life, gay spirituality, Happiness, Possessions, Religion, Spirituality, Victor Fanckl, Wayne Dyer
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Once again, I’m not strictly speaking of finding a boyfriend, but happiness, the ever allusive happiness that we all seek.
Last night at a coffee shop I began reading a book called The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello. Anthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest and spiritual guide who, in his many books and conferences, brought together Eastern and Western spirituality. He himself was raised in India so was familiar with Eastern concepts. If you have not read anything by him or about him I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! It’s amazing how very much in line he is with the thinking of Tolle, Dyer, Jung, Frankl and many others who speak of being free of ego attachments and realizing the grace of living happiness in this moment no matter what is happening around us. These people, I believe, like the Christ, have keys that can make a tremendous difference in living a happy, more peaceful life. The Way to Love is a very small volume, something you could carry in your pocket, but is packed with lots of insight and practical wisdom that can change the way you go about life! It’s published by Image Books, Doubleday.
Last night, on the heals of yesterday’s meditation, I read De Mello’s take on ever allusive happiness. He says we are programmed from birth to believe that we cannot be happy without things, that happiness lay somewhere in the future when I get this person, thing or place. Or we are programmed to believe that if we just change the situation and the people around us, then we’ll be happy, or when all our desires are fulfilled we’ll be happy. All of these are FALSE. It is only when we stop clinging to these things that we begin to experience what peace and happiness is. It is only when we let go of these things and simply live this moment and accept what is here and now that we can begin to live in a greater state of peace and happiness. For then we won’t waste a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to get this or that or to change this or that circumstance in our lives (See pp.5-12 The Way to Love) It’s difficult for me to put this in words, but I know what it feels like when I stop looking to the future for happiness, or some person, place of thing. I know what it is to experience peace and happiness when I accept interruptions to my day, or when my day hasn’t gone as I had planned, or when something seemingly bad happens. I know what it feels like when I simply accept that and stop resisting it.
I want to continue exploring this. I find myself being lead to read Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning which chronicles his experiences when he was in a concentration camp in World War II and how he found that even in such horrible and unspeakably inhumane circumstances, one could still be happy. Imagine the freedom!
My Spiritual Practice – What Works For Me? – Part VI September 6, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Spiritual "Practice".Tags: Christianity, Ego, Gay, Gay Life, gay spirituality, Gratitude, Inspiration, LGBT, Love, Queer, Religion, Service, Spiritual "Practice", Spirituality, Wayne Dyer
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Service and a Grateful Heart
Two other aspects of spiritual practice that I find helpful are being of service to others and having a grateful heart.
This morning I was listening to Wayne Dyer’s Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling. I have this on CD and when I’m in the car I like to listen to it. It’s just another way to absorb some good information in the midst of all the garbage! As I drove this morning Wayne spoke of the ego and how the ego tries to distract us, keeping us agitated and grasping after more and more. It feeds on the illusion that we need more, and need to protect what we have or else someone is going to take it from us. Spirit, on the other hand, is infinite and ever giving. Having no sense of lack, but a firm belief that there is infinite abundance, Spirit has no need to protect or hoard. To be like Spirit, our Source, believe that there is abundance and that we will always be taken are of. When we do so we will naturally become more preoccupied with being of service than protecting and hoarding our time or what we have. When we let go and give, we will find that it comes back to us; and then some! So part of good spiritual practice is to be of some service to others. Conversely, I find when I am in a mode where I am totally self absorbed, I lack energy and vibrance.
Finally, maintaining a grateful heart is a part of my spiritual practice that I find helpful. I do this in a simple way that takes about 60 seconds. At the end of each day, right as I get into bed, I take around 60 seconds to become conscious of at least five things that day that I have to be grateful for. I find this, not only a good review of the day, but something which lifts my spirits. Those who have grateful hearts walk through life with a much more positive, happy attitude. Simply by knowing how blessed we are, we become a blessing for others in the positive energy that we radiate.
All of this being said, I am NO saint. I have my ups and downs; my good days and bad. Ask any of my friends who know me well! Yet in the midst of it all, when I maintain some spiritual practice, there is a pervading sense that life has meaning and that I’m going somewhere and somehow contributing to this world.
Whatever your spiritual practice may be, I pray that it is something which gives meaning and energizes your life and relationships.
Protecting Your Investment August 28, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Personal Growth.Tags: Diet, Investements, Personal Growth, Positive Thinking, Religion, Self Help, Spirituality, Watching Thoughts, Wayne Dyer
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“If the owner of the house knew when the thief was coming, she would keep a watchful eye.” See Matthew 24: 42-51
If you are the owner of a house, you know the work that goes into maintaining, caring for and protecting your investment. It is a constant process.
Each of us IS a house. Do we take the same consistent care of the house that we are, as we do our own homes? What are the “thieves” that I need to watch out for? It could be negative thinking. It could be unhealthy food. It could be the lethargy imposed by a lack of physical activity. It could be a lack of reading which feeds our minds and spirits. It could be self centeredness. Am I vigilant about keeping away those things which would drain life from me?
I think of Wayne Dyer’s strength test that he mentioned in one of his talks. I believe it is in his book and set of talks entitled Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling. If you haven’t read or listened to these talks, I highly recommend it! Here’s the exercise he describes: Place something next to your heart, hold out your arm and have someone press down on your arm. If it is something that is healthy and life giving you will have the strength to keep your arm straight up. If what you hold to your heart is something unhealthy, you will not have the strength to hold your arm up. Try it. Parents, try it with your kids. See what happens. What is healthy will give us energy. What is not will deplete our energy.
Am I being watchful in maintaining and protecting the house that I am?
Follow the Promptings August 7, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Take Action!.Tags: Christianity, Gay, GLBT, Manifesting, Queer, Religion, Spirituality, The Secret, Wayne Dyer
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When we lift our thoughts to the Universe, whether we call this prayer, meditation, positive thinking or the like - when we lift our thoughts for others or ourselves, expect a response. Watch for it! When I have lifted something in prayer or thought, I need to be attentive to I the promptings that I feel within AND respond to them. When I am lined up with Divine energy, the promptings that I feel within may well be pointing me in a direction. It behooves me to respond to these inner promptings and take action. This is our part in manifesting spirit into form reality. Karl Rahner, a great theologian of the 20th century used to say that Divine action is 100% God AND 100% us. That is, if I just sit back and think positively, pray, meditate or whatever, but don’t respond to the promptings and situations that Life puts in my path – little will happen.
Is there something that you have felt stirring within you? Is Life putting something in your path to lead you somewhere? Are you responding to it?
Follow the promptings and see where life takes you. Watch what happens in your relationships, your work or your life situation. We might be surprised!
My God or Yours? July 25, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in 12 Step Spirituality, Spirituality Vss. Religion.Tags: 12 Steps, Eckhart Tolle, Gay, GLBT, Queer, Religioin, Religious Violence, Spirituality, Wayne Dyer
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This concept that God would choose a specific people over and above all others has always seemed unfair, if not antithetical to the very nature of how God would act. It seems to me a primitive understanding of the nature of God, which has set up this “my God against your God” mentality throughout history until this present day. We need not look far to see the violence that such a tribal notion of God has created in the world. I read this in Jeremiah today: “At that time they will call Jerusalem the Lord’s throne; there all nations will be gathered together to honor the name of the Lord at Jerusalem, and they will walk no longer in their hardhearted wickedness.” Jeremiah 3: 17. I felt sad at the reality of Jerusalem today, a crossroads of major religions, yet far from being a place of peace. My God, not yours.
In light of such a reality, I am so grateful for the “new” spirituality that is emerging more and more. It lives outside the confines of any one religion or any one concept of “God.” The unprecedented globalization that we experience today is bringing to consciousness the tribal nature of a “my God against your God” mentality. Go to any bookstore and look at the spirituality section and you will see there a large selection of spiritual books, not based in any one religion. Look at 12 Step programs which are hotbeds of personal growth where people of all religions (or no religion) come together. One concept of God is not thrust on anyone. Everyone chooses their own concept of a “Higher Power.” And it works! People don’t get caught up in a “my God against your God” mentality, or fights over whose belief system is correct. They get caught up in growing as human beings and doing good for themselves and others! Period! And isn’t that what being “Godly” is all about?
I believe the Christ knew this and tried to break through this tribal mentality of God. And he got in trouble for it! For in his day, just as in our own day, there were upstanding religious people who felt very threatened at the thought that their particular “God” or belief system wasn’t the best and the one to which all should aspire.
Instead of fighting over belief systems or worrying about whether or not mine is the best, can we look at what is common among them and what makes us grow in love and self giving toward others?
Be Not Afraid June 22, 2008
Posted by theguyoutsidethewalls in Risk.Tags: Courage, Fear, Gay, gay spirituality, Religion, Spirituality, Wayne Dyer
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Jeremiah 20: 10-13
Matthew 10: 26-33
There is so much to be afraid of. Terrorism, fundamentalism, the economy, the future for our children. Fear of being rejected, fear of being killed, fear of dying. I think my biggest fear these days is the fear of dying with my music still inside me.
Wayne Dyer, in one of his talks (I can’t remember which one) said “don’t die with your music still inside you.” All of us have a song inside that we are meant to sing. Those of us whose “song” sounds a little different (or maybe a lot!) need some courage to sing the song in the midst of those who would want that song silenced. In the Scripture readings of this past Sunday found in the common Lectionary, we are beckoned not to be afraid. That is the theme that comes forth like waves on the ocean in this Liturgy . . .
Be not afraid.
Be not afraid.
Be not afraid.
Don’t die with your music still inside you. Sing your song and in so doing live not in fear, but in courage and freedom. But, . . . . we MUST be willing to pay the price!! That’s the key. Like Jeremiah, those who have sung a different song have had to deal with much rejection. But imagine what our world would be like without those who dream and without prophets who lay before us a vision of what might be beyond the seeming confines of “reality.”
