OK, I really don’t NEED a boyfriend (Although if there are any good guys out there, drop me a line! :-)). I woke up this morning and looked over at the other side of the bed, the empty side, and I immediately found myself thinking that I was missing something, and that if I just had “him” (whoever “he” might be) laying next to me and walking through life with me, then life would be good! Gratefully, I quickly “woke up” and realized that I was beginning to feel badly due to some perceived lack, when the reality is, life is good right now in this moment!
Do you ever find yourself thinking or feeling that? Ever find yourself thinking and yearning for this or that, whether it’s a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, a house, a new apartment, new furniture, moving to a new place, being this or that kind of person, or in this or that kind of profession? “If I just had that. If I just had him. If I just lived there. If I just were a ______ (fill in the blank). If I just didn’t suffer from _________. If I just had a different job. If I just had a different partner. If I just had a day off . . .Then life would be good!” And the list goes on. Consciously or unconsciously most of us walk through our days with such thoughts running around in our heads. And as a result we stay in a perpetual state of agitation and lack of fulfillment.
We are always bombarded with messages that say just that. Listen to love songs, observe commercials, watch sitcoms and movies. The message is usually: “You lack this and you really need it. Then you’ll live happily ever after!” Look at shows like American Idol and the like. People clamor after fame and this perceived “good life.” When I get there, then life will be great! Every day we are bombarded with images of beautiful people with seemingly perfect lives, or even spiritual “gurus” who make us believe that we too could have what they have and then we would be happy! If we get to the day to day reality of these people’s lives we will find that their reality, their concerns, their struggles are much like ours. Eckhart Tolle says that whether we have seemingly “arrived” or not, the world of form will ALWAYS disappoint. If we place our happiness or our fulfillment on this person, place, thing or fame of some sort – and even if we place our spiritual fulfillment on some future happening or place we go to – we will be frustrated. The key he says is accepting what is NOW and simply living the present moment. Once we do so, we will find a peace and contentment that is true and NOT DEPENDENT on our external environment or having this or that. Then, ironically, we will fully and freely (without clinging) enjoy the people, things or places that are around us.