This morning after prayer and meditation, I read a section of Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now. At a coffee shop recently a friend of mine saw me reading that book and said: “Are you STILL reading that book? Haven’t you finished it yet?” What I’ve been doing though is just reading a little bit everyday, kind of like a daily meditation. This morning I continued reading his section on relationships and how to deal with stress or conflict.
For any of you who are partnered, I highly recommend this read. Any of us who are alive and breathing have relationships, whether they be partners, family, co-workers or friends. Conflicts are inevitable. Tolle gives some great direction on how to deal with those situations when someone starts getting on your nerves. He speaks of getting outside the ego, and approaching the person from a place of inner “presence.” When we have our judging ego out of the way, we can peacefully point out things to our partners, friends or co-workers. By doing so we remove judgment and emotionally charged response. Of course, if the other person isn’t present and is in their ego, they will probably get hurt and react in some way. It’s important for us not to get our ego back in the picture by reacting in turn. But if they are awake, they will be able to simply listen. Conversely, when someone points something out to us in a non-judgmental way, we will simply be able to listen without judging or reacting.
Some great advise, I think, for living and loving well. I’ve got a ways to go in getting my ego out of the way. But this is a great tool to have and to practice, instead of allowing emotional reaction to run amuck!