Category Archives: Self Giving


OK, now that I have your attention . . .

It’s true. I really do want lots of sex – but not just the hot, passionate, genital kind.

I’m re-reading a book by Ron Rolheiser called The Holy Longing: The Search For a Christian Spirituality. In it, he has a great chapter on sexuality. I’d like to quote one of his definitions of sexuality:

“Sexuality is an all encompassing energy inside of us. In one sense, it is identifiable with the principle of life itself. It is the drive for love, communion, community, friendship, family, affection, wholeness, consummation, creativity, self-perpetuation, immortality, joy, delight, humor and self-transcendence (p.194).”

That’s the kinda sex I want! It’s about being connected on a wide variety of levels. It’s about connection and creativity, about living life fully!

I find that some, even me (yes me, can you believe it?? LOL!) collapse the totality of what sexuality is into simply its genital expression. Over indulgence in porn or sex has the potential of actually sapping our life energy, instead of adding to it. It can leave us empty and only half a person. Instead of feeling more connected to life, we can end up feeling separate and alone. Ultimately we seek connection – that sense of eternity and wholeness we once had before we were born into this physical universe. And on this side of life, we seek and find this wholeness in creative energies, art, music, friendship, family, solitude, life giving work and self giving love. It is when I am balanced on lots of these levels that I feel the most whole and horny – in a healthy, life giving way.

So I say, bring it on baby! That’s the kinda sex I want – and I want LOTS of it!

Make It Smooth

“Make straight in the wasteland a highway for our God! Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill will be made low. The rugged land shall be made a plain, the rough country, a broad valley.” (See Isaiah 40: 1-11)

We’re so used to good roads in the United States that the concept of making a straight highway and leveling mountains is lost on us. When I lived in Central America for a summer I came to appreciate the roads and highway system we have here unlike I ever have before.

This concept of making a highway for God comes up again and again during Advent. If you’ve had the opportunity to observe a highway being built through hills and mountains, suddenly the awesome task of making a straight road comes into perspective!

This makes me think about the obstacles and “rough places” that are still within me, or the obstacles that I either place in another’s way, or don’t help remove. Think of your partner at home, or another family member or friend. Think of the poor, the less fortunate. How could I be of help in removing some of the obstacles that people have in their lives and making life even a little bit easier for them? And, conversely, what rough places and obstacles are still within me that hinder me from living life just a little more fully?

Making A Difference

Part of this season is about giving, making a difference in the lives of those in need, or the community in general. I was driving to work today and came across a busy intersection at which were cones set up and people walking up and down the street taking donations for a cause. I was heartened by the fact that these people actually took time out of a free day to do something good that would benefit other people, people that they may not even know. This is one small example of how a meriad of people give of their time for the good of others or the community in general.

Advent is about making known the presence of God to others. Its about incarnating the presence of God. It’s about God with skin. Experiencing the presence of God through our prayer is good indeed, but sometimes we need God with skin. We need the touch and comfort of another. And we are called to be that for others.

“Strengthen the hands that are feeble,

Make firm the knees that are weak,

Say to those whose hearts are frightened:

Be strong, fear not!”

(See Isaiah 35: 1-10)

We are, each of us, a Word of God spoken in time with a mission, a purpose. How can you make a difference in someone’s life today?


What’s Most Important?

Luke 21: 5-11

What we see, this life, is not all there is or will be! Today’s readings speak to that strongly. All that we see in this life is passing. It will not always exist. If you have ever been to Rome you have seen the wonderful ruins from the Roman Empire. They are an incredible sight to behold! I’m sure in their day, the Romans thought that what they had would ALWAYS exist, would always be. In our own day, certainly in our own country, we cannot imagine life being different from what we have today. Who could ever imagine that our beautiful capital building and monuments in Washington DC would one day just be ruins?

In this last week of the year, when we continue to hear of the “end times,” we are encouraged to consider the passing nature of things. Two things come to mind. One is, . . . “carpe diem!” Seize the day! LIVE life to its full! Really drink in the wonder of each day and be grateful! The other thing that comes to mind is, . . . in what am I investing my time and energy? Is the focus of my life and my attention an investment in “things?” If it is, my focus is not where it should be. “Things” will pass away. They are temporary. But if I am investing my time in people, then my focus is in the right place. For, unlike “things,” love is eternal! It will never pass away. The investment that I make in people will live on forever! And when it is all said and done, what will matter most to us in the time of our own transition from this life to the next will not be the things we’ve had, but the difference we have made in the lives of others.

No Strings Attached

“They make contributions out of their surplus, but she from her want has given what she could not afford – every penny she had to live on.” (See Luke 21: 1-4)

When I give something, do I place expectations on my giving? If I give something to a friend, do I expect something in return? If I give my time, do I expect it returned? Or do I give, only when I FEEL like giving?

Or, when I give, do I give completely, even when it’s inconvenient, expecting nothing in return?

If I examine my own life, sometimes it’s about expectations and convenience and not about freely giving. At other times, I give freely of what I have.

One thing is clear. I am most happy, most content, when my giving is free, no strings attached. It is in those moments when my heart feels a quiet contentment and knows the care of a loving God who promises that I will be given all that I need, . . . if I just let go. Even when it comes to love, when I cling, life becomes cloudy and difficult. When I let go, life becomes a richer experience.

Taking Risks

“Here is your money which I hid for safekeeping. I was afraid of you because you are a hard man.” (See Luke 19: 11-28)

Again we are reminded: how are we using the gifts that we have been given, the gift that we are as persons? Are we taking risks, reaching out and being of service to others with what we have to offer? Or are we afraid of getting out there? Or, maybe we think we don’t have all that much to offer and what difference would it make anyway? Maybe what we have to give is small. But small things put together become big things. A few cents in my pocket isn’t a lot, but when I throw it in a bin, over time these small amounts add up to something much bigger.

As we head into the end of another year, maybe it would be a good time to pause and take stock. How well have we used our gifts for the good of others this past year? Have we given what we have to give? And how have we seen it multiply? Whenever we give, it WILL multiply!


“I give half my belongings to the poor . . .”   (See Luke 19: 1-10)


Do we allow money to slip through our hands into the hands of others in greater need?  Do we allow time to slip through our hands into the hands of others in greater need?


I’ll confess.  At times I have clung to money or my time.  But it is when I have stopped clinging to money or time and have shared them with others that I find myself most happy.  It’s not euphoric by any means, but there’s a gentle sense of good feeling within, a sense that I’m living life instead of just existing.  And in the process, I usually end up feeling that I have more than enough.  It’s strange.  When I cling to money or my time, I always feel like I don’t have enough money or time.  When I share my money or my time, I always have the feeling that I have more than enough!  Ironic hugh?