Category Archives: Sex

THE MOST AWESOME ORGASM!

NOTE: I AM FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO POST EVERYDAY, LET ALONE A FEW TIMES A WEEK. FOR THOSE WHO READ THIS BLOG, I WILL TRY TO POST EVERY SUNDAY, THEN PERHAPS SOME DAY OR DAYS DURING THE WEEK, BUT AT THE MINIMUM I WILL TRY TO POST EVERY SUNDAY. Enjoy the journey!

We all chase after it, in one way or another. We somehow expect that in this life we will find total fulfillment and happiness whether it be through our spouse/partner, that “perfect someone,” through our work, our house, our car, friends, our children, our church, synagogue, temple or mosque, our guru – our favorite self help writer, our minister, priest and the like. Somehow all of us expect perfect happiness on this side of life, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Think about it. We place high expectations on our boyfriend/girlfriend, our spouse, friends, spiritual path, church and even ourselves to bring us happiness and fulfillment. Somehow we expect that one day we will arrive, we will find perfect serenity, perfect consummation, perfect happiness – the perfect orgasm through one of these means.

We all feel a fundamental sense of disconnection – from our Source and from one another.. And this very incompletion makes us continually reach beyond ourselves to find completion, be it in a person, place, thing or philosophy/spirituality. And this is good. But the sooner we realize that none of this will EVER make us FULLY complete, connected, happy, etc – the more peaceful we will ultimately be. Our expectations of one another, our spouses, of possessions and even of our spiritual path become realistic.

Ronald Rolheiser, in his book The Holy Longing: The Search for A Christian Spirituality, has a great chapter on sexuality – this Divine energy which drives us to seek completion and fulfillment outside of ourselves because we all feel a sense of incompletion. Yet, he says, the truth is, we all live with the “frustration of a lifelong, unfinished symphony” (c.f. p.205ff). On this side of life we will never find the perfect orgasm, the perfect person, or constantly live in a state of total fulfillment. The good news is, the sooner we accept this, the sooner we will stop expecting people or things to bring us the total fulfillment that only Divine fulfillment can. And, consequently, the happier we will be. Much pain and sadness in life comes from disappointment born of dashed expectations that this person or thing will completely fulfill us.

So face it, we’re never going to have the perfect orgasm. Ironically, when we realize this, the more connected and fulfilled we will feel.

Advertisements

I WANT LOTS OF SEX!

OK, now that I have your attention . . .

It’s true. I really do want lots of sex – but not just the hot, passionate, genital kind.

I’m re-reading a book by Ron Rolheiser called The Holy Longing: The Search For a Christian Spirituality. In it, he has a great chapter on sexuality. I’d like to quote one of his definitions of sexuality:

“Sexuality is an all encompassing energy inside of us. In one sense, it is identifiable with the principle of life itself. It is the drive for love, communion, community, friendship, family, affection, wholeness, consummation, creativity, self-perpetuation, immortality, joy, delight, humor and self-transcendence (p.194).”

That’s the kinda sex I want! It’s about being connected on a wide variety of levels. It’s about connection and creativity, about living life fully!

I find that some, even me (yes me, can you believe it?? LOL!) collapse the totality of what sexuality is into simply its genital expression. Over indulgence in porn or sex has the potential of actually sapping our life energy, instead of adding to it. It can leave us empty and only half a person. Instead of feeling more connected to life, we can end up feeling separate and alone. Ultimately we seek connection – that sense of eternity and wholeness we once had before we were born into this physical universe. And on this side of life, we seek and find this wholeness in creative energies, art, music, friendship, family, solitude, life giving work and self giving love. It is when I am balanced on lots of these levels that I feel the most whole and horny – in a healthy, life giving way.

So I say, bring it on baby! That’s the kinda sex I want – and I want LOTS of it!