Tag Archives: Friendship

I WANT LOTS OF SEX!

OK, now that I have your attention . . .

It’s true. I really do want lots of sex – but not just the hot, passionate, genital kind.

I’m re-reading a book by Ron Rolheiser called The Holy Longing: The Search For a Christian Spirituality. In it, he has a great chapter on sexuality. I’d like to quote one of his definitions of sexuality:

“Sexuality is an all encompassing energy inside of us. In one sense, it is identifiable with the principle of life itself. It is the drive for love, communion, community, friendship, family, affection, wholeness, consummation, creativity, self-perpetuation, immortality, joy, delight, humor and self-transcendence (p.194).”

That’s the kinda sex I want! It’s about being connected on a wide variety of levels. It’s about connection and creativity, about living life fully!

I find that some, even me (yes me, can you believe it?? LOL!) collapse the totality of what sexuality is into simply its genital expression. Over indulgence in porn or sex has the potential of actually sapping our life energy, instead of adding to it. It can leave us empty and only half a person. Instead of feeling more connected to life, we can end up feeling separate and alone. Ultimately we seek connection – that sense of eternity and wholeness we once had before we were born into this physical universe. And on this side of life, we seek and find this wholeness in creative energies, art, music, friendship, family, solitude, life giving work and self giving love. It is when I am balanced on lots of these levels that I feel the most whole and horny – in a healthy, life giving way.

So I say, bring it on baby! That’s the kinda sex I want – and I want LOTS of it!

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Healing Presence

Did you ever know someone in whose presence you felt connected, peaceful and refreshed?  We literally are healed by such people.  We draw strength from them.  When we walk about life alone, or trying to do it all ourselves this may work for a while.  But gradually we loose our life force and begin to whither on the vine.  Conversely when we open ourselves to healing presence in others, life takes on new meaning and it’s as if our spirit comes alive with this new food.  “Not by bread alone do we live!”  We need the “food” of others in order to live well in this life.

Some of us, because of past hurts, tend to crawl into our shells, afraid to depend on others, afraid to open our hearts or even ask for simple help.  Perhaps this initially feels the safer way to go about life; but gradually we begin to die, perhaps not physically, but our spirits begin to whither.  Is this any way to live?

It’s no accident that creeds, mission statemets and the 12 Steps begin with the word “we.”  None of us can do it alone.  Yes, in opening ourselves to others, to groups, to churches, to lovers – we may indeed get hurt.  But what’s the alternative?   A safe, but lifeless existence?

Who are the people from whom you can draw healing and strength?  How are you called to be healing presence for others?


Sacred Companions

I am blessed to have a variety of friends. I remain so grateful for the “holy” friendships that I experience in life. These are people who are not only social friends, but those who open themselves to deep intimacy, perhaps the deepest of intimacy as we open our hearts to the Divine in one another.

These relationships are characterized by a sense of respect, openness and humility. Neither person feels that they have all the answers and they listen to each other with a sense of openness. When such a friend speaks, there is a presence of attentive listening, as if God herself were speaking.

Do you have such a friend in your life? Perhaps that person is your partner. Today take some time and give thanks for these Sacred relationships. Let someone know the gratitude that you have for their presence in your life.