Are you ever attacked by a feeling that grabs you out of the blue and holds you captive? OK, I’m going to be embarrassed to admit this, but here goes. At the airport a couple of weeks ago I saw two cute guys talking in a bar/restaurant and it became obvious to me that they had just met and were interested in each other. Before they parted for their flights they exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. I found myself jealous. How stupidly immature it seemed of me! Where the hell was this coming from?
When I was able to step back and simply observe what I was feeling I quickly came to realize that this was a perfect example of the ego within. The ego ALWAYS wants more and is NEVER satisfied. It constantly reaches out for something more to fill its seeming emptiness. Sometimes it’s things. Sometimes it’s a place. And sometimes it’s a person. We are driven by it at various times. Instead of remembering all that we have had and have in our lives and being content with that, the ego constantly keeps us agitated, insisting that we MUST have this NOW, or else we will find ourselves eternally unhappy! This is the great lie, the great illusion that keeps us running after this or that. The advertising industry knows this full well!
The paradox is that if we listen to the ego and keep reaching out for what we don’t have, we will INDEED be unhappy! Conversely, if we gently let go of the screaming ego in our minds and become present, we will find that we lack nothing and we become open again to what Life will bring in THIS moment. When I became conscious of this, suddenly I wasn’t jealous of these two guys anymore and, with a smile, I wished them well as I overheard one of them call the other guy shortly after they parted and leave him a message. Who knows, maybe it will be a love connection that carries them through life?
When I become conscious of the chatter and pull of the ego, I quickly am able to let go. Envy turns to gratitude and celebration! And, paradoxically, in the letting go I am open to Life as it is and become present to Its surprises.