“‘Go out and stand on the mountain; God will be passing by.’
A strong wind came and crushed rocks, but God was not in the wind.
After that there was an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake there was a fire, but God was not in the fire.
After the fire there was a tiny whisper – complete silence – and then Elijah, knowing that it was God, went and stood at the mouth of the cave.” See 1Kings 19: 9, 11-13
As I get older, there is no question in my mind that it is in the silence that I am most completely myself! It is in silence that I feel most energized and connected. I not only feel connected with the Divine, but I feel most intimately connected with those that I love when I am in silence. When I have gone away to enter the silence, while meditating or at night, looking up at the stars, I would feel a mystical and very intimate connection with those who were thousands of miles away from me. Is it only me, or is there great intimacy to be found in the silence?
I suppose we’re all different and find our intimate connections, both human and Divine in various ways. For me, the silence becomes the place which is most intimate, most energizing. There is a pregnancy that I feel in the silence – limitless possibility. When I am there I feel like I am making love. I am no longer separate, but connected at the deepest places within myself, with creation, the Divine and those I love. For two or three hours at a stretch I just sit, doing nothing but looking at the ocean, the mountains and the stars, and in those moments I feel the cells of my body vibrating in intimate unity with the Universe. I am completely open and give myself over to this Love without fear. I allow myself to be freely and fully penetrated. And in the rhythm of our love making I feel his strength and his gentleness as he fills me.
Yet I am not spent in this love making, I am not diminished. I walk away renewed, energized with life, pregnant with tomorrow’s possibility.